ya digg – holiday edition.
with christmas just around the corner and the release of the holiday collection from hellz, i started to think about what I really wanted this year.
i bring u my preliminary wish list.. shit im diggin for the xmas season.
- Cult Classic. Hellz Bellz is rockin my socks with their holiday shit. that cardigan?? the villian jacket? got my name on the cake and it aint even my birthday (yet!)
The collection creates a moody and subtle yet inspiring ambience through a darker holiday color palette with a sense of mischievousness throughout the collection, as well as a connection to every female’s devious side. New interesting pieces in this collection include; the ‘Villains’ jacket, a unique play on a motorcycle/peacoat with an exaggerated collar, perforated leather sleeves and wool body.
see the rest of the collection here.
- this handbag by MADE HER THINK. at a $570 price point its a LITTLE out of my budget but fuck thats why its a wish list, right?
- Jamaica! Jamaica! Caribbean vacations ALWAYS go on sale during the holidays, so trade in ur snowboots for some pristine beaches! a 6 day Jamaican vacation is uber affordable at $599. (thats including ur stay at an all inclusive resort AND roundtrip air people!) pack yo bags!
- speaking of snowboots, i need new snow gear. i’ve been rockin the same board + bindings set for 4 seasons now, and def need to get fitted up for this season’s epic snow.
- these Jeffrey Campbell wedge boots. i. die.
ok i’m done for now. santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight!
one zero zero.
November 5, 1909. That was 100 years ago. On this day, the US Air Force lost its only airplane in service leaving them with no planes, 1 pilot, and 9 enlisted people. On this day, in New Orleans, passengers arriving from Belize reported that the entire Navy of Honduras had been sunk. On this day, a Harvard University Astromoner announced that the Earth would pass through the tail of Haley’s Comet in May 2010. On this day, Federal Judge Hatton ruled that Arabs and other Middle Easterners were of the White race. On this day, the first Woolworth’s opened in London. On this day, my Lola was born.
In the last 100 years, my lola has seen an amazing number of things…from the invention of the television, to Ford cars on sale for $360, to World Wars I and II, to watching a man walk on the moon. And while she never got a chance to become literate and worked to the bone as far back as she could remember, she gave her 2 boys and her 15 grandchildren every chance she never had. And now even her grandchildren have children, and she’s still doin what she does best… Cooking the best filipino food on the block, doing the laundry, pruning the roses in the front yard, and takin a shot of hennessey with dinner with me. And she STILL the only person in my immediate family who knows how to swim. Yep, thats my Lola.
Today, I’d like to honor the woman who raised me and my brother. The woman who turned me on to avocado and milk for merienda. The woman who taught us how to speak Tagalog while we taught her English. (we failed. she didn’t). Today, I’d like to honor my Lola because today, she turns 100.
Shots up!
p.s. thats my daddy, my lola, and my mommy.
p.p.s. my daddy is 17 years older than my mom. whats the opposite of a cougar?
p.p.p.s. isnt my mama pretty?
Midnight Marauders
Today, part one of my very first short story was posted on Hellz. Check it out!
I mentioned I wont be reposting it here, but I just might post the entire thing at the end of the month. … we’ll see. either way, you can hit Hellz every thursday for the next installment.
Enjoy!
co-sign.
if its one thing i hate, its the throes of insecurity. it happens all the gadamn time but u can’t help who u love right? u can’t help ur feelings? all true statments but you CAN help your actions. you think saying “hi” = “lets have sex” but that doesnt mean your crazy ass should go and de-friend every dude she’s ever met in her life does it?
“But i dont trust that dude. but i seen her look at him for 0.05 seconds too long. but she always answers my call. but his joke wasnt funny and she laughed anyway. but she offered him a drink. but she left him 3 comments in a row on FB” but but but BUT BUT. Bad men excuse their faults. Good men abandon them.
And while that quote is only geared towards those able to pee standing up, it goes both ways.. aint nothin like a crazy bitch to ruin shit for everryyoonneeee.
the following is excerpted from Hayati cuz she always tells the truth. and i have nothing left to say. so here u go.
Insecurity might as well double as shrooms, because I swear it makes u start hallucinatin. It’ll have u swearin u just saw ur man sittin shotty on the freeway with some breezy driving and just when u get home to yalls spot ready to burn all his clothes in the tub u find him snoring on the couch with drool on his pillow. It’ll have u blowin up ur girls cell phone 37 times in 10 mins because she didn’t answer ur phone this ONE time. And of alllll the possible reasons why i.e. she’s sleeping, she doesn’t have reception, she’s driving and doesn’t want to die, she didn’t hear her phone, her battery died – of course she didn’t answer because she’s secretly fucking ur best friend. Afterall, that’s y she passed the bread to him first at dinner last night right?
Might sound crazy, but it’s unfortunately not too far-fetched for some. You see, it’s one thing to get cheated on or have an actual valid reason to be checkin ur girls call log or lookin thru ur mans pockets when he gets home after the club. But one of the worse things u can do to ruin a perfectly good thing is let ur insecurity fuck up what could’ve been a beautiful relationship, especially when the problem lies within urself and not ur partner. And y on Earth would u get in the way of ur own happiness? That’s never a good look and more unflattering than anything Christian Audigier’s ever made. Well, except for this.
read the rest of it here. and if u aren’t following her already, DO SO.
expect the unexpected
cuz even in November it can still be 78 degrees in San Francisco. cuz a cup of $5 soup can satisfy your soul better than a $30 meal. cuz who woulda thought you’d ever like vegetables? cuz you just found out the love of your life can be your own worst enemy. cuz you could still end up taking the train when you hate public transportation. cuz you never thought you’d actually want to go back to school. cuz the same girl who you thought hated your guts just sent you a fb friend request. cuz you’d never thought you’d stop believing in santa clause, or in religion, or even love.
and all of a sudden u wake up and find that all of these things are true, and the unexpected becomes your reality. and then what?
u dont know? cuz its just not what u expected.
ring the alarm.
my favorite time of day, (other than twilight of course) is sunrise. there’s something about the early hours of the am that brings forward the truths of the world. we wake up with the start of a new day, with yesterday’s goings on being put into perspective. we sober up from a night of debauchery and make sure there’s no stranger on our couch. we look at ourselves in all our natural glory– makeup-less, bed head, and morning breath is written all over the bathroom mirror.
the morning gives us an opportunity to look at the world sans fancy clothes, perfect makeup, and washed hair. in the morning, before anyone gets a chance to hide behind a morning routine or the day’s happenings, we are all the same. and most importantly, we are all for real.
good morning.
the way you make me feel.
Tuesday night I watched the Michael Jackson documentary This Is It. For two hours I got to witness the King of Pop do his thang, sing, dance, and rehearse for, what would have been, his return to the stage after a decade.
Lemme rewind. As a little girl I watched MTV wishing and hoping and praying that I could be Tatiana Thumbtzen in the “The Way You Make Me Feel” video. I hid under the covers with my brother as “Thriller” became one of the scariest things I’d seen in my entire live. I put on socks and tried to moonwalk accross the floor the first day our hardwood floors were installed. I memorized all the moves to “Beat It” and all the words to all my favorites… even the non-words like “a-cha-oo” and shit, i had it down pat!
Real talk, Michael Jackson is the reason I fell in love with music. period.
He was my first celebrity crush — err, obsession. And even tho I never wanted to be with him, I wanted to be with him .. in his presence and all his musical geniuses. He was my music god, and my record player was my religion.
But as I grew older, he grew whiter and weirder. My obsession with the man faded, but my love for his music only grew stronger as I started exploring hip-hop. Cuz even after realizing that hip hop saved my life, aint nothin moves my soul or body faster than an MJ track..
I sat in the theater on Tuesday with my friends, wearing my gloves n my leather jacket prepared to cry my eyes out. And after watching the opening scene where his dancers got to share just how much he inspired them, I almost did. And then all of a sudden, like magic, I was a little girl again.
I wished with all my might I could have been one of the principal dancers, or the bad ass blonde guitar player, or the backup singer with the afro and asian eyes. We were singing along, clapping, and dancing in our seats and at the start of every song, you heard someone say “Thats my shiiiiittt!” Most of the time it was me, but thats beside the point.
And even tho he was wearing a blazer over his pajamas, and sequin pants, and he STILL aint never wear pants that go past his ankle, IT NEVER MATTERED. Cuz he sang that shit better than I’ve ever heard it, and he danced like it was the first time I’ve ever seen his moves.
For those two hours, I was LIFTED. I left the theaters inspired by his legacy.
And here I sit, with my MJ inspired outfit, listenin to “Off The Wall,” tellin u to get up, get out, and get some tickets. Two weeks aint enough……
Like Madonna said, LONG LIVE THE KING.
Jury Duty Survival.
I just spent all day at the courthouse doing my due diligence as an american citizen and reporting for jury duty. If its one thing I hate, its to be somewhere I dont have to be, listen to someone else’s problems and sit next to a stranger with bad breath and another who’s coughing like he has emphysema. After pleading my hardship case to the judge on why I can not be a juror for this case, I’ve been let go and I feel like I just got outta jail.
Tips from my peoples who have been in this sutation before definitely got me thru today with flying colors. So, since everyone is gonna have to go thru it SOMETIME, I’m writing this for all of you who have to sit through 5+ hours of boredom. or hell. same difference.
p.s. i know i been givin yall a buncha lists lately but lists are my forte, ok? its how i organize my life.
HOW TO SURVIVE JURY DUTY.
1. sit far far away. as i mentioned before, i got sandwiched in between two people reeking of fumes and sickness. i sat in the middle of the chairs, hoping no one would sit next to me, and voila. i got to share air with people who dont believe in hygiene. dont worry about looking like a loner loser cuz EVERYONE THERE IS BY THEMSELVES. find a corner where you dont have to share air with anyone and save urself the burning nose hair.
2. bring your life. i mean, your laptop, the book ur reading, ur phone, ur taxes, ur homework, WHATEVER will pass the fucking time. take advantage of the free wi-fi in the building. Facebook saves ur life in times like this. real talk. Also, this saves u from looking like a loser staring at your shoelaces to actually looking like you’re important and/or have important things to do.
3. bring food. how embarrassing is it in a quiet ass room and all of a sudden ur stomach lets out a grumble. eat something before u leave, or bring something to snack on. when i get hungry, i get grumpy. and grumpy + bored is not a good combination.
4. be biased. my husband was summoned to be a juror in the Scott Peterson trial. when he was asked to tell the judge about his thoughts he stood up in front of the courthouse and said “He did it He killed his pregnant wife. Bastard.” 2 seconds later he was in the car on his way home. There aint no quicker way to be let go than to say that a) you think the defendant did it, b) you’re a racist and you hate _____ (insert race of defendant here) or c) the same thing happened to you, your brother, or your mom so u have a vested personal interest in the cause. You dont necessarily have to really believe these things, but saying it will send ur lying, bigot ass home.
5. have your hardship plea prepared. excusable hardships include a pre-existing medical condition, not being able to speak english, being broke and not being able to afford a day off of work, ur work not paying for jury duty, or a pre-paid vacation. now, since i didnt have proof of any of these things, (and really didnt wanna call myself a racist in front of a room full of people), i decide the next best thing was to create an excuse. 3 texts later and my girl Queen booked me on a flight to LA for next tuesday, with my email confirmation being proof that “I cannot be on the jury because I wont be in town for the duration of the trial”. and just like that, i’m outta there! one phone call to southwest later, and I’ve been fully refunded the $40 I paid for the one way ticket. GENIUS if i do say so myself.
And now that I’m exempt from serving on a jury for the remainder of the year, can I just say that its nice to not be at work on a Wednesday? Happy Hump Day, yo!
New-New
Last week Hellz Tweeted that I had somethin in store for y’all. And I do! I’ve been asked to write stories straight from my book of horrors. I’m bringin u stories from around the way and i’m adding some shit talkin’ and a dash of sass in that bitch to bring you something hellza dramatic.
First entry drops on the hellz blog next Thursday and tune in weekly to see what happens next. I wont be reposting these entries here so make sure you check What The Hellz weekly to catch it! promise, you wont be disappointed with the Hellz Team — they always got that good shit for ya.
DISCLAIMER: These stories, while always inspired from actual events, are in no way an entirely factual recollection. They are purely fictional and written solely for shits n giggles. If you think you know who I’m talking about, you dont. (ok, maybe you do). And just so we’re clear, HELL NO, this is not biographic in the least!
With that said, here’s a sneak peek of what’s comin at ya next week. =)
*ping*
I hear the sound of my phone go off and immediately my face morphs into an expression of half-nervousness, half-guilt, and half normalcy. Wait. Thats three halves.. I’m even confusing myself and look at my girls to see if they’ve noticed my awkwardness. They haven’t. Phew.
I put my phone on vibe and check my incoming text. “Come over?”
I look over at the sender of the text who happens to be sitting in the same car and he has this smirk on his face. The same smirk he wore earlier in the night when he said I looked nice. The same smirk he worked when he asked me to dance. The same smirk I smiled back at when he bought my first drink. The same smirk that is dooming me to hell tonight.
ya digg.
– Brooklyn Hawaii. This Hawaii bred photographer rocks my socks. she just did a shoot for in4mation and their new release.
and her and the mansies are TOO CUTE. i swear, i wanna be her friend. Brooke, if ur reading this, HOLLAAAAAA!
– my cousin put me on to this dude last night… his name is Urban Rage (or so he calls himself) andddddddddd I CRIED FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. the funniest part about it? he’s serious! (see if u can catch the part where he wants to lick his girl’s balls. WHAT THE FUCK)
– this Opening Ceremony onesie.
– and this concoction from my beloved, the Kogi truck. You’re lookin at the kimchi pastrami melt. pastrami and kimchi that were caramelized together and then put on some toast with cheese and pressed on a grill. topped with picked persimmons and arugula and a small dash of sesame mayo. of course, can’t forget the Korean spicy pickle for garnish. EAT ON!!
– Midnight Marauders by Fat Freddie’s Drop . New Zealand funk/reggae/soul
– finally this shoe. i walked into the store yesterday for some NUDE PUMPS and walked out with these babies thanks to the 2 gays who convinced me i was milf of the year with them on. i stood no chance. gays always win.
Raaachem
