Raaachem.com | Boss Bizness

ever try and talk to someone and they seem to be allergic to conversation?

in a day and age where you’re more likely to know my aim screen name than my phone number, and u know what i’m doin cuz u follow me on twitter..when did friendships become so impersonal?

ever had a friend whom u text/email/chat with pretty frequently and when they actualy call ur cell phone its kind of… awkward?? or sometimes u can hold a 7 hour chat on gtalk, but when u finally have lunch u two aint got shit to say to each other… has quality conversation become extinct?

i am not exempt – there are just some people who’s frienships will always remain on aim or twitter or facebook cuz i could not see myself having a 2 hour convo about sunblock over coffee. however, the same convo on meebo while i’m at work is completely fair game.

and then there are the socially retarded.. the verbally constipated.. the people in ur life where you have to pull teeth to get more than a one word answer out of. sometimes it feels as if ur talking to a TREE. or a rock. whatever inanimate object you prefer. but u know they’re fun. u’ve seen it! or maybe it was just the libations talking but u could have sworn she was fuckin hilarious the other night when now all she types back is “hahaha” when what you typed wasnt even supposed to be funny. WTF is that shit?

i think i’m addicted to conversing. and when i come accross people like this i think either 1) shit, they have no personality or 2) am i just that boring to talk to? and i really hope its not either cuz i’d like to believe that everyone is fun and interesting, myself included.

so please, take a laxitive cuz the verbal constipation is no bueno. i’m sure we can find SOMETHING interresting to talk about. u may be allergic to conversation but i am allergic to boring. (and ugly, but thats a whole nother blog)

p.s. “this livin is so magnificent. stop dreamin it. oh..” – j. legend. happy friday, yo!

i have a lot of guy friends and one thing that i absolutely HATE hearing is, “how come girls always talk shit about each other?” and i hate to admit it, but its true. get a group of girls together and 9 times out of 10, they talkin shit about SOMEONE.. wether it be the ugly bitch in line at the club, the fat girl tryna get a drink outta one of the boys, or the fake beezy who was talkin mess behind ur back.

upon further contemplation, i’m sitting here wondering.. do girls really just hate each other? cuz it seems as if any girl that u dont just love, u seem to hate. and it doesnt matter how nice she is or how pretty she is or how bad ass she is…. her nose, her outfit, her boyfriend, her lipstick, her smile, her hair, her friends or her shoes..whatever it is… we’ll find SOMETHING to hate on.

am i right or am i right?

i am a blogger. which means, i am also a reader. i read hella blogs about hella shit in hella styles. personally, when i write, i write like i’m talking to my best friend. i know that’s not everyone’s style and i respect that. writing is an art and well.. “i’m an artist, and i’m sensitive about my shit”.

however, once in a while i will come across a blog where the author uses introspective, profound, 10 letter words, and her sentences are three lines long and theres semicolons and shit.. and thats FINE. but sometimes.. just sometimes.. it gets kinda irritating. like i have to read the sentence over again to understand it when it coulda just took 3 words and been straight to the point.
i was conversing (p.s. i loathe the word “conversate”) with my hayati Abi about it this morning

–”yes and almost all of the time it would sound and flow so much better if she
just said ‘it was awesome,’ or ‘it was amazing’ instead of ‘my head spills into
an infinity of ultimate horizons beckoning my ear to pitter patter amongst the
enlightening universe’… SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH it was dope. nuff
said!”

do u like your truth to be raw and real, or eloquently construed? i like it both ways, but sometimes its just doin too much [hereafter referred to as DTM]. are we the only one who feels like this? tell me blog readers!

(i’ve started my own dictionary. check the “word” gadget on the right)

ok. its friday, and you know what that means. ABSOLUTE BOREDOM. i just got back from paradise, and its about to be a three day weekend, so my girls and i have nothing better to do than to tsissmiss. about what you ask? our favorite topic! UGLIES.

for those of you who do not know what an ugly is, let me explain. its pretty damn simple actually. an ugly is someone who looks, dresses, speaks, or acts ugly. for the purpose of this blog however, we are talking about people who used to be cute, or still have a cute face, but have now crossed the line into ugly territory.

i hate how people who used to be cute, all of a sudden look like they were raised in the boonies and are going to a fiesta and then STILL rock it like i’m supposed to be jockin. i think not. pogi points expire!!!! and if someone has told u otherwise, they lied to you. probably so they look better standing next to your unfashionable self.

lets go through a few examples of things that will revoke the pogi card shall we?
on a guy:

• zebra shorts. where in god’s green earth is it ok to put animal print on a man? espcially on shorts? SERIOUSLY. do not pass go. do not collect $200. in fact, let me burn those along with item number 2.
• a deep v neck sweater with no shirt underneath. nigga i can see your belly button! HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE?
• fringed denim w/ square toed shoes. enough said.
• glitter. i think i was watching an mtv special on jersey guys and this buff ass good looking guy slathered himself with glitter before putting on the tightest wife beater and shades TO GO CLUBBING. no wonder he’s single.
• running shoes. unless ur actually running or working out, it is not acceptable to wear these to a club, or any other night time event.

on a girl:

• boots with the fur. (unless you’re a gogo dancer and ur wearing it at a gig). wedge, zip up boots with the fur? what year is it? just cuz flo rida sang about does NOT mean its ok. trust me. thats why you’re stuck at the corner of the bar buying drinks for yourself cuz ur fucking wawa and ugly. and did i mention ugly?
• platform tsinelas. oh. dear. lord. after coming back from an island where these are the shoe of choice for the local girls (seriously, they wear them with every outfit), i think i want to vomit. these will minus pogi points from ANY outfit you wear, no matter how cute it is. and being pretty dont negate the fact that those slippers are still no bueno. no fucking bueno.
• crochet skirt. actually anything crochet (minus a sweater and the choice swimsuit)
• leg warmers. these were only in in the 80s, and a few years back for a HOT second. stop holding on to the dream.

on anyone:

• bad teeth. ok the grill gotta be clean, somewhat straight, and kinda white. AT LEAST. dont come at a member of the opposite sex with a snaggletooth the size of bricks. not a good look. bad breath is in the same category.
• B.O. i gives a fuck if you hella fly, got the flyest fit on, the flyest shoes, the flyest hair…. if u walk into anywhere smelling like a bag of onions I PROMISE YOU, YOU ARE UGLY.
• too small clothes. if you think no one notices that your top is just a lil too small, think again. i can see ur back fat through the stretched out material and ur belly fat is rolling over your extra smedium jeans. and your toes are cliffhanging off those shoes. ARE THOSE EVEN YOUR CLOTHES?

it just amazes me sometimes how ex-cuties (aka uglies) still think they’re cute. step your game up, yo. cuz if u haven’t noticed, you’re wearing zebra shorts and boots with the fur. oh and u have a little lettuce stuck in ur teeth. right there. yeah, its still there.

*shivers*

because they’re fucking everywhere!!!

i get that not everyone likes their job, their situation, their circumstance.. but fuck if thats the case then get off ur ass and CHANGE THAT SHIT.

you are not a plant. you are NOT STAGNANT. you have the opportunity and the ability to change everything about yourself. the way you think directly affects the way you live and not the other way around. dont serve me any of that “woe is me” bullshit on a platter because i am not buyin it. too many people want shit to just fall into their laps instead of working hard to get what they think they deserve. shit dont work like that. money makes the world go round and blood, sweat, and tears earn that money. dont talk about it, and just be about it. because that sob story you givin is just not a good look.

if you dont like the way you look, hit the gym or stop complaining about how your size 6 jeans just dont seem to fit anymore. too broke to go on vacay with me? ask for overtime instead of donations. sick of your scrublife boyfriend? he’s ugly anyways so drop his ass. easier said than done, but once its done its easy. TRUST.

rant over. fuck you and have a nice day.

“there isnt much i have to say, that i wouldnt rather just shut up and do.” ‘CHUCH

ALMOST… but no cigar.

you almost had me feeling sorry for you, again. you almost had me feeling like i was a bad friend. you almost convinced me that you arent so bad. you almost made me apologize for not “being there for you when you needed me”.. you almost got me thinking its not ur fault. you almost made me want to completely forgive you and try and be friends again.. you almost had me…

and then i remembered how you almost became the ninang of my son, but u didnt show up. and then you almost opened the xmas gift i got you last year, but you werent there at the party. and you almost saw my surviving son in the NICU when he was born, but you didnt come to the hospital. or how you almost called me at the perfect time one year ago because i needed you more than anything… but you called me for something else entirely. you almost had me believe that i meant something to you, but then disappointed me at every chance u could. you almost let me try and be there for you, but then you went and disappeared..

… you almost had me thinking that you could change… but you didnt.

and you cant cry your way out of this one. you cant twist shit around and somehow make it about you and somehow make it my fault , and then say how i should feel sorry for you and just magically FORGET all the foul shit thats gone down.. because point blank, i cant.

even though i almost thought i could….

and almost doesnt count.

i dont have pet peeves. i have major, psychotic, fucking hatreds!

so i’m sick of hearing all this christmas joy and what not. christmas always kicks my ass. i’m stressed out buying 6549843249876 gifts for people, what to give, how much to spend, how i’m gonna afford to drink water after this always always ALWAYS leaves me in a bitter ass mood. shopping is NOT fun when its not for me. (especially when every store plays the same christmas muzak on blast and i aint in the mood for fuckin raindrops on raindeers or however the fuck the song goes.)

but i digress. when i’m already stressed, the little things that kinda bother me, start to really really bother me, and the pet peeves give birth to major mental meltdowns and i feel sorry for whoever is on the receiving end of my unfiltered mouth. so, until i’m stress free (which is after my son’s first birthday), please keep me clear of the following:

- denim on denim. this went out in the 90′s i thought? WHY do girls insist on doing it still?
- french tip toe nails. my bff loves to do this, but i dont understand why u want ur toes to look like fingers with long nails.
- feeling like i gotta shit RIGHT when i get outta the shower. i hate when this happens.
- someone who eats the last of ur favorite food.
- drivers who dont use their turn signal. can u not move ur finger one fucking inch to let me know where u tryin to go? really?
- girls who think they steezy, but really aint. dont u have friends to tell u the truth about ur outfit?
- wet socks. especially when you spent 10 minutes and 39 seconds trying to find the matching pair to your favorite ones.
- dry or undercooked rice. the fuck is that?
- phone numbers with 9 or 11 digits. WOW.
- meebo’s fucked up servers.
- fuckin posers. or hypebeasts. or single white females.
- olives.
- non- words. understoodable? OMG lemme buy u a dictionary for xmas. and just cuz biggie said it, dont mean that conversate is a word. the word is converse! like the shoe! except the emphasis is on a different syllable. say it with me now.. converse!
- friends who are lightweight annoying and mooch on car rides, food, your first born child.
- friends that say they’re gonna disappear and dont answer ur calls, then get mad when they dont get emailed, texted, IMed or invited to vegas. cry me a fuckin river.

i promise i’m not always this shitty. just spreading myself, my time, my resources a lil too thin right now. maybe i’ll be better yomotto. (Adri!!!) if not tomorrow, i’ll def be a happy camper on thursday after all my gifts have been opened and i know i went broke to see the people i love smile. cuz THAT makes it worth it..

merry christmas you guys!

“Winner…the fighting pride of the philippines… mannnnyy ‘pacman’ paccccuiiaaoooooooo!!!!”

between making sure my son is eating enough solid foods, changing his diapers, checking my bank acct, keeping my make-up fresh, stepping my shoe game up, buying new clothes, e-mailing or texting my friends, having sex with the husband, complaining about my weight, smoking and/or drinking, daydreaming about my next vacay, and not dying of boredom at work.. i sometimes come up with random shit to obsess about until i get over it and start obsessing about something else.. at the moment, my current obsession is on my kris kringle wish list… so i need something else to oogle over. until i find it, i’m writing this blog just because its the day before thanksgiving and i refuse to work because i think its illegal to do so when its so close to a major holiday.

in the spirit of thanksgiving, i’d like to take a timeout to say that i have THEE most amazing people in my life and am so grateful to the lord for blessing me with positive, uplifting souls to surround me. so here, in a nutshell, is a list of my around the way girls… the girls that, around the way, have been inspiring, uplifting, and the source of lots of laughter and great memories.

in no particular order..
cat – my very best friend. 8 years strong and counting!
bern – i told u that u were a keeper!
queenie – nbf! three words. travel. photography. food.
jae – you are the strongest woman i have ever known.
anna – my nbf’s bff. your humor is always a breath of fresh air. can u move here already?
michelle – my sister! my best friend! brito’s fo life.
wella – fuck bitch i hella miss you. buncha bullshit!
janass – the biggest bitch that i’ve known thus far.. and that aint a bad thing. =)
iya biya – the biggest little girl i know.
abi – sooo homo, hayati. the fuck is a purple happy face?
adri – boob talk all dayyy. u tried to make me go to rehab and i said YES. YES. YES.
leslieannnn- team jada on my mama, nigga!!
kris – three words. single. white. female.
nes – roti nigga, roti!
dyna – i love my baby mama
gailey – ho sista wea u stea? i love you mary!
tee – when can we make peach sangria again?
tat – my living diary. thank you for knowing everything about me, and still loving me.
baning – ninang healthy.. im hungry! potato casserole pleaseeeeee
char star – be.bella
baker – kailua will always be our beach. always.
ape – mama mia, here i go again. my my, how can i resist you?
angggg- “why is she fat? and ugly?”
chey – dude where we gonna have ur bachelorette.
patti – lets go buy red velvet cupcakes and gush over edward cullen.
agnes – cuz we O.G. triple O.G.! vegas baby!

“i dont remember many girls, cuz they talk too much.”… but these girls got my back, my ear, and make sure i dont have food in my teeth and that my makeup still looks good. MY GIRLS SHIT ON YOUR GIRLS. and i gives a fuck if u beg to differ.

so happy thanksgiving and eat lots of turkey and get food coma cuz thats exactly what i’m gonna do tomorrow! adios habibis!