Raaachem.com | Boss Bizness

its been unusually warm and sunshiney for winter… especially for san francisco where the only season we have is called fog. but when i get the chance to wear a dress in november because the weather permits, ima take full advantage.

sometimes the clouds cover the rays of happy sun, but whats comforting is that you still KNOW the sun is there, even if you cant see it. i read a really good quote on kris’ blog the other day.. (click the pic to hit up her page). amazing isnt it? smiling is the new black, and i have the sun to thank for that. =)

“they call it the past, cuz i’m gettin past.. ” – a.keys

i keep writing these rants about this damn situation and then deleting…but fuck it this one’s staying up. everything she says is bullshit. he said she’s cancer. she said she’s a liar.. but to me, she aint a liar, but a bullshitter. for those of you who are confused, let me explain…

it is impossible for someone to lie unless he thinks he knows the truth. producing bullshit requires no such conviction. a person who lies is thereby responding to the truth, and he is to that extent respectful of it. when an honest man speaks, he says only what he believes to be true; and for the liar, it is correspondingly indispensable that he considers his statements to be false.

for the bullshitter, however, all these bets are off: he is neither on the side of the true nor on the side of the false. his eye is not on the facts at all, as the eyes of the honest man and of the liar are, except insofar as they may be pertinent to his interest in getting away with what he says. he does not care whether the things he says describe reality correctly. he just picks them out, or makes them up, to suit his purpose.

she’s been fired, and i started to clean my closet and weed out the rest of the bullshit.. and i’m happy to say, that after taking stock of the inventory of my life, i found nothing but good, positive people. love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes right? fuck alla that im done! my eyes are open and i need my shades cuz its a bright and sunshiney day.

so thanks to the rest of you no bullshit/ real talk / no homo/ yes homo/ not for nuthin people in my world who prove to me everyday what a friend is all about. i aint done.. i’m doing. and i’m doing it with the best set of bitches next to me… i know, i know, i’m a cold heartless bitch. but how much fun would i be if i wasnt?

rant over. done. pau. NEXT!

today is my lola’s 99th birthday.

she has been witness to 2 world wars, to a man walking on the moon. she has moved her family from the impoverished third world of the philippines, to the san francisco bay area which i now call home. she has seen many things in her century of living.. and yesterday, together, we witnessed the election of the first african american president of the united states.

we made history. and she is just as hopeful as i am that change is coming our way. told ya! obama fo yo mama! and apparently, my daddy’s mama too.

Happy Birthday Lola.! i love you!

..because I’m SCREAMING!

A wise man in the rain does not struggle against the rain. He neither tries in futility to walk between the drops or run through them hoping to avoid the rain. He accepts the rain as part of his reality and is released from the stress others might find themselves to be in walking outside on a rainy day.

I want to be that person. I want to be able to accept what I can’t change and be free of the burden of the desire to manipulate that which is not within my capability to mold to my own liking. For the most part, I am just hoping. Hoping that equality can be measured today by a growing majority being accepting of gay rights, civil rights and equality for all human beings.

I have heard so much politicking over the past few months that I almost can’t believe the world we live in. I have lived in the Bay Area for almost my entire life, and being in the bay area, you almost get stuck here. You get stuck here physically, and ideologically, and for periods of time, you allow yourself to forget that the rest of the world is not the Bay Area. Coming back in to reality, I begin to feel a little nervous for the legitimacy of today’s results, should Barack Obama somehow lose this election. I would be devastated, but not completely shocked. I am urging you to voice your opinion. Voice what you need from this world, lift your words and raise your voices and vote for someone who will find it in his capability to change the things we ourselves do not have the power to change. Today is one of the very few days that we as a people are actually listened to, and what we need is to leave no doubt to be found when choosing our next president.

Besides that, I’ve heard so much talk about proposition 8 that it makes me sick to my stomach to see so many supporters of this message. They wave their signs on the street corners. They have yelled in my face over and over in attempts to solicit some form of support from me. I will not. I tell myself everyday not to conform to pressures that lead you in a wrong direction, and I see proposition 8 for what it truly is. I have no problem with gay marriage. I know that before you were born, God knew who you were and everything you were capable of because he made you the way that you are. I know this to be true, and i know this does not exclude the gay community. They are human. They have relationships just like the rest of us.

I’m hearing from religious leaders that gay relationships are about lust and not love, but how could this be? Are gay individuals without the capacity for love in a nurturing relationship? Simply put,… no. They love just as we do. They make plans for the future and argue as couples just like everyone else. What lust in your life has ever been worth arguing with another for? Lust is not the issue,… the issue is giving everyone the opportunity to love and live life as they wish without hatred and judgment from people who have placed themselves on a pedestal, dehumanized this community and fail at every turn to take in to account how much the gay community suffers at the hands of the ignorant.

I know that proposition 8 seems to have a sure victory at hand,…. but i don’t give a shit. I believe that they should enjoy all the rights that we have and you can go on and pander your opinions and viewpoints and biblical verses all you want. This is my opinion,… and in spite of what any campaign might think,… I, and hopefully everyone who reads this, am not for sale. I will not buy in to what you want me to believe. Not today and not tomorrow or any day after that. I know in my heart that this is right. Please,… let your voice be heard today,…. or go out and get a big fuckin umbrella.

thanks junio.
p.s. happy birthday michelle brito! i love you sister!

after this morning’s conversation with kris, i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m old.

old cuz my body aches, i hate mondays at the job, and i’m always complaining about how i’m tired. then i slap some sense into myself because i’m only 25. twenty-fuckin-five. and i sit and ask myself how the hell can i be so tired when i’m still hella young? i act like i’m 40 with a bad hip and osteoperosis.

so my 2nd conclusion of the morning is that i’m not old. but just lazy. let me break down a typical day for the 18-year-old Rachel… school 8-3, work 330-1130, party 1145-2, homework 2-4, sleep 4-7, wakeup. rinse. repeat. now, a typical day for the 25-year-old Rachel.. work 8-430, home w/ baby 5-10. sleep 10-645. wake up. rinse. repeat.

so why do i feel so tired? someone please explain this shit to me cuz my mind is fuckin boggled…

note to self: get back to the gym. excercise = more energy and less fat on the body.

you dont realize you’re breathing stale air until you open the window and let the fresh breeze in..

sometimes life is like that. you go through your routine.. you hustle, you grind. you walk down the street with swag so serious that you SWEAR no one can fade you or your “i’m so the shit” mentality. and then something new happens, and your window opens.

assimilation has turned me into a fucking robot. finish school, get a good job, do whatever it is that i ‘m supposed to be doing, and do that shit well… culture has driven my thoughts and actions..and i realize that i have been asleep. i’ve been unconscious. as of late, i have been making a conscious effort for revival. little by little i am waking up, and im starting to wonder how i could have been that way for so long.

ok so it took a whole week of thinking that i suck at life.. one full week of wah-ing… but shit’s coming full circle. new things, new people, new interests… revived interest in old friends, old hobbies and being genuine in trying to put the FUN back into my life has given me the chance to see the world in a new light– to see ME in a new light..

my inability to articulate or manifest a strong sense of identity left me lost. so today is day 1 of unlearning the culture and learning ME.

i will be my own breath of fresh air.

so i totally had a major “i suck at life” day today… partly because im sure its that time of the month, and partly because i saw a pretty-faced 23 yo chick with a bio thats already 11 pages long… and also because i wore no kinda makeup today and wasnt feeling pretty, AND got to the office to find a stack of work about the size of a small midget on my desk.

after proceeding to feed my face, make fun of uglies, talk to the hubby, and have every concerned friend on my buddy list reassure me that i dont suck at life.. i got over it… and tomorrow i’ll probably be on my jock again because i am just soo amazingly awesome that i cant contain myself and should probably put an 8×11 picture of myself on my desk at work.. (just for clarification, that pic of me next to t.i. is NOT MY DESK, thanks. please believe that i would put a waaay better picture of myself at my own desk)

anyways the moral of the story is — even when i’m a mess, i still put on a vest with an “S” on my chest…. oh yess. i’m a superwoman.. yes i am.

until tomorrow…when i try and take over the world again… au revior habibis..

today is just one of THOSE days.

when i was 13 i said that i wanted to be married, with baby, and a house by the time i was 24. i celebrated my 25th birthday with my husband, in our house, 7 months pregnant. close enough.

the other day Cat brought the kids over. these kids never cease to amaze me.
hayden – “i want someone to just let me do whatever i wanna do.”
me – “well when u find that person, send them my way, because i wanna do whatever i wanna do too.”

kids got it easy.. they dont have to worry about paying bills, being on time, cleaning up. they are fed, clothed, entertained, and taught by the adults around them and do not have any responsibilities. they are also always in a hurry to grow up. i remember wanting to be 16 and driving. i remember wanting to be 21 so i could drink. i remember wanting to have a job, so i can pay my own bills (why the thought of this attracted me, i will never know).

now that i am driving, working, and am a wife and mother, i wish i was a kid again without a care in the world.. i wish someone bought all my clothes, put food in front of me, and cleaned me up. i gotta worry about paying bills on time, not getting too drunk, being a good mother and wife, my fucking credit score, feeding adonis, the economy, and making sure i’m not negative in my bank acct.

its just like children to want to grow up. and its just like adults to want to stay young.

i remember that i wanted to grow up, so i wouldnt have to answer to anyone. now that i’m grown, ive realized that although i no longer have to answer to my parents, i DO have to answer to the dmv, the credit bureau, wells fargo, and my boss.

wtf happened to the care-free life i always imagined? it ran away when the care-free mind i had, got clouded with actual street knowledge and social responsibility.

people talk about being grown…doing grown shit..gettin ur grown man on. but fuck being grown gets OLD. i wish i had a time machine to take me back. just for one day…. where the fuck is a delorean when i need one.