Raaachem.com | Boss Bizness

hayati and i have decided that today is most boring tuesday ever. like.. EVER.

so what do u do when u’ve done ur daily routine and are still bored? like seriously, uve done EVERYTHING!
- gone through all our internet bookmarks.. TWICE
- exhausted myspace, facebook, twitter, and every other social network.
- blogged about bullshit cuz there aint no interesting news…
- made fun of uglies which is already old news..
- everyone on the buddy list is busy.. or working.. or playing hooky and is too occupied having fun to talk to ur “bored @ work” ass.
- even talking to a tree or rock would make today a lil more interesting but they are also unavailable or just ignoring u..
- job hunting [cuz im tired of this place] is slim pickins
- updated vacation itineraries
- updated ipod playlists
- looked at pictures from the weekend 3 times
- shopped online but couldnt really cuz my ass is brizzoke.
- my ass actually worked too. not even pretended to work, but ACTUALLY worked.

……………and then look at the clock and realize that its still only 230 and you aint got shit to do.

hmmm…
count sheep? pick lint out ur pocket? balance checkbook? clean purse???? and no, i dont wanna do a survey or anything of the sort cuz that shit is just gay.

someone help us. cuz we are dying.

Dear Cigarettes,

After a 46 day hiatus, I welcome you again into my life with open arms. Oh, how I’ve missed you. Ending a large meal or a stressful day without you around has been difficult. My life has seemed lacking. For a seond there, I thought I had myself convinced that I could live my life without you in it. I was almost over you, until Easter Sunday when you made a smashing entrance back into my life. *sigh* There’s no getting rid of you, is there? But then again, a girl needs a vice…. And I choose YOU.

Always,
Raaachem

just a repost of what i posted today on What The Hellz?!

—-
life sans cigarettes..
is making me fuckin GRUMPY. why i thought giving up cigs for lent was a good idea is beyond my comprehension right now. everything is everything and its hella irritating the fuck outta me!

today, i wanna talk about shoes. not just shoes, but too small shoes on too big feet. this is a phenomenon that remains beyond my comprehension. this weekend i saw a fly ass chick with a pretty face and the dopest outfit on. she had swag thru the roof and i’m always intrigued with confident girls… it makes me wanna be friends. lol. but as i got closer to get a better look i stop dead in my tracks cuz i see this…

p.s. this aint really the girl i seen cuz i wanst bold enough to take a pic of her feet. lol. this is just a visual… but i swear it looked just like this.

cliffhangers! it looks like her poor toes are hanging on for dear life……. so i immediately wonder if they’re borrowed or if she’s worn them too many times between 1998 and now that they no longer fit well. this shit immediately catapults a girl into the HELLZA UGLY category. i promise. not to mention the pedicure is all bad just makes u wanna give the girl a donation right??? does the poor girl not have friends to tell her that this shit aint cute?? argh.

and that, my dear friends, is the “HELLZA ANNOYING SHIT OF THE DAY.” maybe if i had a cigarette i would be a little less annoyed, but i cant have another one of those till after easter. i SHOULD be giving em up completely but we’ll see if i have the strength. maybe next year i should give up something easier like food or shopping.

its WTFriday ladies, and here i sit at my desk at work wishing i was somewhere else. will someone hire me to just do WTForks full time?? please?? i beg of you..

here’s me LOVING my job. ha. please share with me WTForks you’re doin today. and to my other WTFly ladies… SAVE ME. PLEASE.

p.s. on days like this (after i catch up on my fave blogs) i usually pretend to work and instead read my copies of the Twilight series that i have on PDF. thats right gals. on PDF! if u want em, shoot me ur email.

p.p.s. Abi, i’m wearing eyeliner today so i dont look like DEATH. happy? (its also payday today so i think ima head to stussy to cop me some more swag from the stussy x hellz collab that was just released. if u dont know, now u know)

i bought this book for hawaii, but i couldnt help but start reading it today.. i only got thru the first three pages and i ‘m fucking DYING. me and this bitch could be friends. here’s an excerpt

chapter 1.
flying too close to the sun

Camille said you stole a bag from a homeless guy.”
“Well I guess that depends on your definition of ‘steal.’ I didnt swipe the briefcase,
but i didnt pay for it either,” I reply to my rapt audience with a shrug. They gape at me with open mouths. Apparently this is not a satisfactory explanation.

“OK, I’ll tell you the story, but I’m going to need a little lubrication first.” I whistle for the waitress’ attention and when she looks my way, I shake my highball glass and flash my freshly veneered multipl-thousand-dollar smile. She approaches with
trepidation

“You, bring me one of these every twenty minutes until we dock or I fall overboard,” I instruct her while swirling the ice in my jewel-colored cocktail.

Hearing this, my cohorts break into the kind of congratulatory laughter exclusive to drunken salespeople. The waitress emits a fake chuckle, too, although I sense she’s almost had it with me. What-ever. Have I NOT stuffed her apron full of twenties all
afternoon? How about a little gratitude? When I was a waitress I would have KILLED to work on a boat like this. Instead, I slaved away in a shitty campus bar serving college athletes who considered a good tip a quarter and a grope worthy of a sexual harassment suit. (Seriously, if the basketball team kept their hands on the ball half as often as they tried on my ass, we’d have totally won the Big Ten Converence that year.) And I was thankful for the opportunity. This girl is lucky to have caught me in the beginning of a story, or i would totally give her the news…even if it meant my next cocktail came with a spit chaser.

Pick this shit up! i think i got it at target. “Bitter is the New Black.” by Jen Lancaster. Confessions a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered smart ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office.

my friends and I (Jess, Lanie, and Abi) are having a minor contest to see which one of us looks like the better bella.. vote for me here!!! I write under “the new mayor of forks”

c’mon PLEASEEE!

Create your own FACEinHOLE

…for my absence. i haven’t found the time (or the balls) to do anything non-work related at work. but today, i really could give a fuck if they see me blogging or not. with that said… HELLO! the inauguration yesterday was inspiring, uplifting, and i got extra swag in my step cuz we got a black president. according to my other husband, justin timberlake, having Obama as president makes the united states just that much cooler. and i have to agree…

i’ve been uninspired to write anything worthy of blogging lately, mainly because i’ve been too busy wah-ing over this whole work ordeal and prepping for hawaii.. so as i ease back into the groove of things, i only have one thing to say..

i’m back and in full effect, boyyyyeeeeeeeee!!!!!

thanks to Yoshi and Miss Lawn for starting our Twilight Book Club/ Blogroll…

What the Forks?

“In our last efforts to prolong our obsession (yes, it’s an obsession) of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Saga, Jess and I have finally put up our blog, “What The Forks?” for all ya’ll. Continue to check us out for your daily dose of all things Twilight cuz we know if you’re just like us, you can’t ever get enough Twilight. We’ll be posting anything and everything… whether it be, news on the upcoming New Moon movie, our thoughts on the books, or gossip and pics of the cast, specifically our favorite and yours, Robert Pattinson, aka Edward Cullen… swoooonnn!!!” – misslawncullen

AIM chat room – ihatework
[10:51] Anna: am i repeating myself if i say “smelly odor”?
[10:52] Bern: technically yes you are repeating yourself
[10:52] Anna: i am?
[10:52] Anna: urgh
[10:52] Queenie: isnt odor just smell? or is it always just bad smell?
[10:53] Bern: odor is just smell
[10:53] raaachem: odor is just smell
[10:53] raaachem: smelly implies that it smells bad
[10:53] Bern: but if you describe something as smelly it’s the same?
[10:53] raaachem: yes
[10:53] raaachem: smelly = bad odor
[10:53] Bern: so you wouldn’t need both words right?
[10:53] Queenie: but smell and odor are nouns like scent and aroma
[10:54] raaachem: true story
[10:54] Bern: american english SUCKS!
[10:54] Bern: lol
[10:54] Anna: how about stank odor?
[10:54] Queenie: yah it does!
[10:55] Anna: Stank odor repeating myself?
[10:55] Queenie: i dont get how some words are the same. minute as in time and minute as in small. makes no sense!!!
[10:55] Bern: lol
[10:55] Bern: right!
[10:56] Queenie: and u pronounce them differently. WTF??!!? ITS THE SAME!!! lol
[10:56] raaachem: lol.
[10:56] Bern: lol.
[10:56] raaachem: and no
[10:56] raaachem: stank odor is NOT repeating urself
[10:56] raaachem: well
[10:56] raaachem: technically
[10:56] Queenie: oh and produce as in to produce and produce as in fruit and veggies
[10:56] raaachem: stank is the adjective to odor’s noun
[10:56] Bern: hahaha
[10:57] Anna: slamit!
[10:57] Queenie: if thats the case then why is body odor = bad odor?
[10:57] Bern: i technically see it as repeating bc when something is “stank” or “smelly” you automatically think odor
[10:57] Queenie: my body has an odor but i do not stank!
[10:57] Bern: but all the same
[11:00] Queenie: whos odor are u talking about to begin with?
[11:00] Bern: hahaha
[11:02] Anna: my co workers…
[11:02] Anna: her pits are stinging my nose
[11:03] Bern: EWWW
[11:03] Queenie: hahahhaha
[11:03] Anna: or the sweater she leaves in the offices need to be washed

for those of you who think that my AIM chats consist of talking shit, trying to take over the world, or plotting your demise.. you have been proven wrong. we talk about..STUPID SHIT. all day… today’s topic, the idiocracy of the engrish language.