glamorous bahama mamas

Friday –
bye babe! see you in 10 days!
miche can you paint my nails?
wtf 56 pounds?!?!? HEAVY
jet settin on the red eye to Orlando..
stupid Continental couldn’t even put us all together
who are all these damn kids in orange shirts? are they on our plane? OH HELL NO.

Saturday –
arrive in Orlando
shuttle to the Sheraton Orlando Suites
woohoo! comp breakfast AND cocktails?
wake me up before we go out..
on our way to Universal’s city walk
I am NOT feelin this
sooooo not our steez
its grad night? OOOOHHHHH!!!!
Vacancy was scary
margaritaville w/ our cool ass server D (i can’t even remember his whole name!)
10 pm reservations at Emeril
wtf is in this chocolate cake? its SPIKED!
“i can’t no more…. EAT?”
Bob Marley club is TIGHT!!

Sunday –
this breakfast is whack. no wonder its free
tropicana transportation to Port Canaveral
keep talking to the irish guy.. i like his accent.
why is our boat so small?
why is the boat hella 80’s?
1st dinner was bangin!
is this dreamgirls? the end?
these motion sickness wrist bands look like buddy bands.
i’m hella swayin.
What’s a miami vice?
Shonda can SAAANG.

Monday –
breakfast is hella good!!! where’s cindy?
we’re in Freeport!
jeep excursion was sold out
shutle to lucaya
dude where’s the freakin sun?
maybe its warmer over there?
dont you dare ever let me get that fat
banana boat? lets go.
“dont flip us!” i will disown you as a friend!!!
omg we’re crying already.
lets get in the hat tab. ober der the hat tab!
oh there’s people in it. fuck it lets just go and kick them out.
oooh the infinity pool is HELLA NICE.
bahama breeze drink is hella good w/ these burgers.
“pool is for guests only.’
where’s bern? under the umbrella.
dont fall asleep! we’re turning into lechon!
jump the waves
chelle can’t get on the trampoline.
“hey pretty ladies, what do you wanna buy?”
pareos up the yin yang.
we dont need a ride, thanks.
formal night
welcome to michelle’s house of beauty
filipina ka ba? taga saan?
wasn’t he mexican?
wtf kinda picture was THAT?
we’re missing karaoke!!!!
Samoans! do the humpty hump, do the humpty hump
“oh you’re samoan?”
dj winston sucks…
i think they’re all here for a family reunion or somethin
the end of dreamgirls again?
queenie’s broken camera.

Tuesday –
Welcome to Nassau!
laggin asses…
cereal w/ no milk?!
lets go upstairs for breakfast.
spoon, fork, knife, eggs, and a tobasco cap on the floor.
lets bring them food.
weren’t those the same 4 ships we seen in orlando?
hi Greg!!
tour of the “hood”.. looks like Philippines.
Anna Nicole’s house… forreal?
fresh coconut juice.
“where’d you get your color?”
philly girls
i’ll take 2 albums
“we be jammin” back scratchers
Atlantis Resort is the SHIT!
when we have $25k a night, we can stay here
big ass manta rays
“where’s your pool?” “which one?” “the closest one”
thats not a pool, its a lagoon
conch fritters.. mmmm
double shot daquiris
“smoking is not for pretty girls”
this is not a beach! its the port!
senor frogs is right here!
we walked like 10 miles
asian connection. “we’re not asian! we’re pacific islander!”
dwayne, wayne, i’ll answer to both.
holla at a gucci bag!
$3 water taxi back to paradise island w/ scratchy
hella sleeping
“its a 7 minute walk to the beach”
fuck that. taxi for $1 to the beach.
we’re trekkin through the forrest
lets lay out over here.
damn these waves are hella strong!
we have to get over there… past the waves where those guys are.
samoan shadows.
the waves got fresh w/ april.
sand in my everywhere!!
churro toes…boobs….ass….
sunset is gorgeous
are we the only one’s here?
“want a doobie”
i am treasure.. never trash
cat’s lost camera.
back to the ship for dinner.
i’m tired. drink some red bull bull
“i’m very bad, thank you”
ALOHA! hahah! we’re not hawaiian assholes.
ah, push it.. push it real good!
“i can tell you , that fluid’s happenin” NOT!
bahamian guys can DANCE!
thats 4 times already.
$20 tab for 12 drinks… $50 tip
“can you play some dancehall?”
where’s the deck party? this is the deck party
the end of dreamgirls again?!

Wednesday –
fun day at sea on the fun sheep
sleeping in
lets go lay out
its too hot. i can’t do it
JASSMEEEN! where’s jasmeen?
q and bern got a seranade
tripled at the casino!
there goes my $10
FINALLY, the beginning of dream girls
“michelle has to be here when you watch marie antoinette”
3 peanut butter and jelly’s, 1 blt, 1 tuna sandwich, 1 corn pops, 1 frosted flakes, and 2 milks. wtf there’s no spoons?!
damn april? hungry much?
imma nap real quick
last dinner on the ship
there was sushi?
“i feel like i passed it earlier.” “thats because we did.”
Joseph is hella dancing. lol!
there aint nobody at kaleidoscope. lets find the people
ooh theres a show!
is that the break dancer?
“HIIIIIII!” “weren’t you guys at the beach?”
still no one at kaleidoscope.
oh its comedy hour too.. “move your hand. move your hand!”
and still, no one at kaleidoscope.
lets crash

Thursday –
“are we still swaying?”
out by 8 am. damn thats hella early
last breakfast.
talagang walo kayo ano? salamat!
i forgot my shirt.
i forgot my bill
damn they’re never gonna call out blue.
can the line move any faster?
“get off the phone!”
my bag is hella heavy. hella!
where’s our luggage?
we’re coming emmanuel!
i spent no money. lets go miami.
wtf are we gonna do in orlando for 3 hours?
we cut the line though.. how’d we do that?
“because wer’e samoan.” that’s our cousin.
chips and salsa were good. oh and water
brad still loves jen. fuck angelina.
spencer called himself the best boyfriend in the world.
you’re walking all the way outside for a cigarette?
i have no remember
WTF row 39? there’s a row 39?
i can’t buy a toblerone? forreal?
look at that drunk ass breezy right there.
woah woah woah!
she fell on my tsinelas!
“do you need help getting up?” “no just leave me here.”
“where are you going?” “orlando” “we’re in orlando.”
i dare her to smoke that cigarette in here.
WTF? thanks for the warming!
there goes that white boy from fluid! haha!
did you sleep?
houston! lets eat popeyes!
insecure ass breezy drama.
are we boarding?
hella turbulence
we’re HOME.
damn that kid’s cute but she’s loud as FUCK!
hi babe!!!

what a fuckin bachelorette! all the way in the beautiful bahamas with my favorite people. I swear my friend are better than yours! i’m still swaying btw. as we speak. next up…. jamaica! no forreal.

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