Current mood: let me smack a bitch
BlackBerry, iPhone, BlackJack, Treo.. whatever their formal names are, they all amount to the same one – “the other woman.”
i know u know damn well what i’m talkin about. u know who u are, and u know what ur problem is. you, or someone you know has a very specific electronic addiction. i aint gonna lie. i do too. the need, desire, and yes.. love for the thing fuels ur very existence. your self-esteem is wired into the 5 inch black hole of hell..
now, i’ve owned a blackberry pearl (damn bbm!), a blackjack II, and now and iPhone.. and really… its my boyfriend. text messages, emails, contacts, my music. navigation at my fingertips, the internet.. myspace… a calendar, notes, pictures, aim, youtube, and games that would keep me entertained for days on end. all of these in one little phone? one gadget about the size of my wallet that my life fits perfectly into.
i remember the days when i used to carry around a walkman (yes, i said a walkman), a pager (doot do do doot do), a pekkle picture wallet (i know u had one too), and a planner. my pager gave way to a star tac cell phone, to bigger and better phones to come (i’ve owned so many its ridiculous. at one point i even had a 2-way. holla back youngin!)… but still, i never felt that my phone was another appendage… until one christmas the husband bought me a crackberry.
do you hear the violins playing?
a blackberry! a handheld computer that doubles as a phone. i discovered blackberry messenger, and once i could get emails in the 2 minutes that you send them.. i was HOOKED. (since then he’s upgraded me to a BlackJack II, and my latest addiction.. the iPhone. [best invention ever.]).
here’s how you know ur addicted to the “other woman” —
1. you sneak around and look @ ur phone every chance u get hoping, praying that someone has messaged you. you matter. you are important, and every message, email, text, mms, and aim is important too.
2. you leave the phone on the table when eating (i just did this shit last night.). u bring it to the bathroom with you.. you jog with that shit in ur hand….
3. you know the distinct sound of an email, voicemail, text, and aim and you can distinguish between the flurry of computer generated music.
*there is no four. thanks for pointing out my dyslexia queen.. *
5. you leave that stupid blinking light on 24/7… its like a lighthouse. a homing beacon.. ET PHONE HOME… check me! check me! check me! shit, even on silent, the bzzzzz scares the dog toward having a mild stroke
6. you no longer look around when walking or driving because ur too busy texting on the damn thing. now i appreciate a good multi tasker, but driving and texting just dont cut it. you ignore whats happening around you, because the world in your phone is just THAT much more important…
7. you start hyperventilating when a.) you cant find your phone. b.) you think its broke or c.) there’s a glitch in the system [who remembers in april when blackberry shut down for 11 hours and everyone went into withdrawal?]
Now, seriously.. its as kawawa as it gets. Being a person who’s addicted, ur like, “whats the big deal?” but being with someone who’s addicted… its gets pretty damn annoying. manners disappear, relationships disappear…. and nothing else matters except for that stupid phone!…
now really, who wants to eat with someone who barely has time to look u in the eye because they playin brickbreaker? who wants to wake up thinking there’s a mouse in the room and then just realize that its really ur partner typing away IN BED!… now i know more than a few people who seriously have thought about leaving their significant other because of the “other woman” addiction…. relationship – done deal! over a phone! this shit is funny but its not… REALLY. so whats the solution? quit with the dependency… cold turkey.
i dont exactly know how to go about doing so without having cold sweats, nervous twitching, and mean withdrawals… but the ultimate goal here.. is to learn how to put the “other woman” down.. and pay attention to the real people in ur life. get outta cyberspace and/or myspace and get into the real space around you…
plain and simple, put the phone down and step away… lets all do it together now… 1..2..3…….
wait, let me just check my email first.