grown

today is just one of THOSE days.

when i was 13 i said that i wanted to be married, with baby, and a house by the time i was 24. i celebrated my 25th birthday with my husband, in our house, 7 months pregnant. close enough.

the other day Cat brought the kids over. these kids never cease to amaze me.
hayden – “i want someone to just let me do whatever i wanna do.”
me – “well when u find that person, send them my way, because i wanna do whatever i wanna do too.”

kids got it easy.. they dont have to worry about paying bills, being on time, cleaning up. they are fed, clothed, entertained, and taught by the adults around them and do not have any responsibilities. they are also always in a hurry to grow up. i remember wanting to be 16 and driving. i remember wanting to be 21 so i could drink. i remember wanting to have a job, so i can pay my own bills (why the thought of this attracted me, i will never know).

now that i am driving, working, and am a wife and mother, i wish i was a kid again without a care in the world.. i wish someone bought all my clothes, put food in front of me, and cleaned me up. i gotta worry about paying bills on time, not getting too drunk, being a good mother and wife, my fucking credit score, feeding adonis, the economy, and making sure i’m not negative in my bank acct.

its just like children to want to grow up. and its just like adults to want to stay young.

i remember that i wanted to grow up, so i wouldnt have to answer to anyone. now that i’m grown, ive realized that although i no longer have to answer to my parents, i DO have to answer to the dmv, the credit bureau, wells fargo, and my boss.

wtf happened to the care-free life i always imagined? it ran away when the care-free mind i had, got clouded with actual street knowledge and social responsibility.

people talk about being grown…doing grown shit..gettin ur grown man on. but fuck being grown gets OLD. i wish i had a time machine to take me back. just for one day…. where the fuck is a delorean when i need one.

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4 comments

  1. ♥ aw na · October 30, 2008

    duuuude….i told you that you’re always in my head…this is exactly what i was thinking when i put my “about me” up

    “I wish I owned a time machine. Am I asking for too much if I wished for it to be in a form of a DeLorean? Eh…a phonebooth will suffice.

    I put that up a couple months ago.

    KUDOS

  2. ...Mic... · October 30, 2008

    i wish too!!!! sorry to burst ur bubble but back to realty hahaha lol i know im an asshoooollleee

  3. Tee · October 30, 2008

    i feel you. ok, i dont totally feel you because no mortgage, husband or baby… but i gots the bills! and bills are bills riiiite!

    at first it feels good becuz neyo made a song about it (miss independent) lmao.. and then in the club you could throw your hands up n be like “mmhhhmmmm and point down at yourself and bob your head and purse your lips hahahaha feel me..

    but fuck. a song isn’t enough acknowledgement!! hahah.. anyways. ttyl miss rabbit.

  4. Harry Balls · October 30, 2008

    I feel you on that…

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