(i’ve started my own dictionary. check the “word” gadget on the right)
ok. its friday, and you know what that means. ABSOLUTE BOREDOM. i just got back from paradise, and its about to be a three day weekend, so my girls and i have nothing better to do than to tsissmiss. about what you ask? our favorite topic! UGLIES.
for those of you who do not know what an ugly is, let me explain. its pretty damn simple actually. an ugly is someone who looks, dresses, speaks, or acts ugly. for the purpose of this blog however, we are talking about people who used to be cute, or still have a cute face, but have now crossed the line into ugly territory.
i hate how people who used to be cute, all of a sudden look like they were raised in the boonies and are going to a fiesta and then STILL rock it like i’m supposed to be jockin. i think not. pogi points expire!!!! and if someone has told u otherwise, they lied to you. probably so they look better standing next to your unfashionable self.
lets go through a few examples of things that will revoke the pogi card shall we?
on a guy:
- zebra shorts. where in god’s green earth is it ok to put animal print on a man? espcially on shorts? SERIOUSLY. do not pass go. do not collect $200. in fact, let me burn those along with item number 2.
- a deep v neck sweater with no shirt underneath. nigga i can see your belly button! HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE?
- fringed denim w/ square toed shoes. enough said.
- glitter. i think i was watching an mtv special on jersey guys and this buff ass good looking guy slathered himself with glitter before putting on the tightest wife beater and shades TO GO CLUBBING. no wonder he’s single.
- running shoes. unless ur actually running or working out, it is not acceptable to wear these to a club, or any other night time event.
on a girl:
- boots with the fur. (unless you’re a gogo dancer and ur wearing it at a gig). wedge, zip up boots with the fur? what year is it? just cuz flo rida sang about does NOT mean its ok. trust me. thats why you’re stuck at the corner of the bar buying drinks for yourself cuz ur fucking wawa and ugly. and did i mention ugly?
- platform tsinelas. oh. dear. lord. after coming back from an island where these are the shoe of choice for the local girls (seriously, they wear them with every outfit), i think i want to vomit. these will minus pogi points from ANY outfit you wear, no matter how cute it is. and being pretty dont negate the fact that those slippers are still no bueno. no fucking bueno.
- crochet skirt. actually anything crochet (minus a sweater and the choice swimsuit)
- leg warmers. these were only in in the 80s, and a few years back for a HOT second. stop holding on to the dream.
- bad teeth. ok the grill gotta be clean, somewhat straight, and kinda white. AT LEAST. dont come at a member of the opposite sex with a snaggletooth the size of bricks. not a good look. bad breath is in the same category.
- B.O. i gives a fuck if you hella fly, got the flyest fit on, the flyest shoes, the flyest hair…. if u walk into anywhere smelling like a bag of onions I PROMISE YOU, YOU ARE UGLY.
- too small clothes. if you think no one notices that your top is just a lil too small, think again. i can see ur back fat through the stretched out material and ur belly fat is rolling over your extra smedium jeans. and your toes are cliffhanging off those shoes. ARE THOSE EVEN YOUR CLOTHES?
it just amazes me sometimes how ex-cuties (aka uglies) still think they’re cute. step your game up, yo. cuz if u haven’t noticed, you’re wearing zebra shorts and boots with the fur. oh and u have a little lettuce stuck in ur teeth. right there. yeah, its still there.