i meant to write this yesterday but got so caught up with writing for my other blog that i didnt get a chance. but i wont apologize. i’m writing it now. here we go.

it was ash wednesday yesterday, the start of the lentin season. for those of you who aren’t catholic, lent is the season directly preceding easter. it is a time to reflect, to fast, and to abstain in rememberance of Jesus’ sacrifice for us. ever see that movie “40 days and 40 nights” where homie abstains from sex? thats that. this season i have decided to give up smoking.

yes. i am a smoker. yes. i swear like a gangsta rapper. yes. i eat fatty foods. yes. i dont give a fuck. i quit smoking when i was pregnant and have since picked it back up because cigarettes and alcohol just go so well together. but lately, i’ve been inspired to healthify. and i dont care if healthify isnt a real word, its what popped into my head and its what is going down on paper.

along with healthifying my life, i’ve made a conscious decision to never censor myself. ever. im that girl that gives u the brutal truth with a smile on her face, cuz frankly, u need to hear it from someone and it might as well be me. but i can also handle shit talkers and if u got shit to say, LET IT RAIN. dont gotta be shit shit. just u know.. shit. haha did that make sense? probably not but whatever.

ever meet someone or see something and be inspired? u all of a sudden want to better urself for the sake of ur future, because u make ur own bed and u sleep in it later and u reap what u sew and all that jazz.. so u promise urself u’ll be better than u are because ur never the best u can be at any given moment. but then that ‘instant gratification’ shit kicks in and u dont wanna work so hard bc u’d rather just sit at home and play video games or shop or watch real world because blood, sweat, and tears are way overrated. and then 2 years later ur back at where u started wondering how u managed to do NOTHING and go NOWHERE.

fuck the bullshit and fuck the cliches. think outside the box. word smart and not just hard. with the economic crisis in the worst state of my lifetime, and along with the realization that tomorrow is never promised… the future is thrown out the window. today, i will be the best version of me for TODAY. tomorrow, i’ll be better than today. the day after that, will be better than tomorrow. one day at a time people. small steps.

u should look at urself everyday and say, “hey. i’m the shit.” and if u dont already do so, try it. because u need to hold urself on a pedastol so u dont settle for mediocre.. because u know what? i’m the shit and i dont settle. she’s the shit and she shouldnt settle. ur the shit and u wont settle. if no one’s there to tell u how fly u are, that doesnt mean u aint fly. it just means no one around u has the balls enough to pay a compliment where its due.

u know what? i got big balls. and even though i’m really not this cocky, i come off as such because im gonna fake it till i make it. and when i do make it, i’ll look back and be able to say i really believed in myself. cuz today, i havent had a cigarette. which means today, i’m better than i was yesterday. even though i’m already having nicotine withdrawals and nervous twitching.. but fuck it.. cuz IM THE SHIT.