tastes like..

sex.

last week a good friend salvaged a shitty week by introducing me to my new mistress, lindt excellence white coconut chocolate. (i’m always craving chocolate and white choc is my fave. my friends know me so well.)

chocolate makes everything better. when it touched my lips i swear i had a mini orgasm. just a little bit. i promise it tastes like… sex… but BETTER. i instantly had a smile on my face and a good rest of the week…

and here, my friends, are my top reasons why chocolate is better than sex.

– you can have as much chocolate as you can handle until you’re satisfied. good luck finding a man that can do the same.

– you do not need to pee afterwards. or shower.

– you can have it any time of the day, with anyone, anywhere you please. even in church.

– you can enjoy it as loud as you want to.

– chocolate is always there when you need it and never disappoints. EVER.

– when you’re over it, you can stop eating it. you dont have to finish the whole thing, and you can save the rest for later. i guarantee you that no man will allow you to jump off mid-thrust.

– you are allowed to accept chocolate from any man. not just your own.

and finally…. (drumroll please)

– there is good chocolate. there is great chocolate. there is NO SUCH THING as bad chocolate. however, there is such thing as bad sex.

and there you have it. now please give me a moment alone with the last piece of my white coconut. *sigh*
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11 comments

  1. Jenille · March 31, 2009

    LMFAO Rach! I love it!

  2. Miss.Stefanie · March 31, 2009

    YOu just tickled my pickle!

  3. Bern · March 31, 2009

    LOVE IT!

  4. gailey · April 1, 2009

    so when i went to the Body Works exhibit in SD, we watched a lil movie about senses, the body, and the brain….

    it is in FACT… TRUE… that most people seem like that have more pleasure eating chocolate than kissing!!! This is because a piece of chocolate sends more happy signals and creates more activity in the brain !!!

    i found that interesting!!!! hehe

  5. kng · April 1, 2009

    i miss BOTH right now. hahahahaha

  6. thatchicklc · April 2, 2009

    You make my day. You are so hilarious…You are so right..chocolate is one of a kind. I have to try the Lindt white chocolate cuz i love me some Lindt

  7. Kweenie Weenie · April 2, 2009

    looks like u were trying to have sex with the wrapper. kiss mark and everythang… hahaha

    i love it! lol

  8. rio tapatio · April 2, 2009

    always alwayssss read your blog.

    tagged you on mine, go sheckk it 🙂

  9. I am the Supreme Bitch · April 5, 2009

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA* Holy fucking shit.
    That’s some good shit. Funny shit.

  10. Raaachem · April 14, 2009

    u guys dont understand how much i want chocolate right now. haha.

  11. Raaachem · April 14, 2009

    u guys dont understand how much i want chocolate right now. haha.

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