[attempt #1 at blogging somewhat normally.. semi-fail ]
the one thing i dont miss about being single is the game. u know, the game? the game where u have to shave on the daily and keep ur makeup in check and keep ur wardrobe game tight and not call everyday so u dont look like a bugaboo, and let the little things slide cuz he aint ur man, and act like u aint jealous when u really are cuz u wanna be more but u aint sure if he does? yeah… THAT game.
when i was dating i always found myself attracted to the same kinda guy. pretty but rough around the edges, kinda broken, let me fix everything about you, crazy ex girlfriend type. when i say that, as women, we wanna be different and we wanna be the one that the bad boy changes for, i say that from a lifetime of past experiences. i say it as the girl who’s been lied to, cheated on, and left for the ex numerous times. i say it as the girl whos tried over and over only to be disappointed again and realize that guys dont change for anyone but themselves. i say it as the girl who is still learning about life and love, even after seven years with the same man. the game… sucks.
dontcha wish sometimes that u could just skip all the bullshit and go straight to blissful and happily ever after? i did too. and it bit me in the ass. you need to go thru the bullshit.. u need to find out what it is you want out of life, out of each other… the bullshit is what keeps u from heartbreak in the end. the bullshit acts like glasses and pushes past the “god he’s so fine” and the “good sex” and the “but he pays for everything” and helps u see that CLEARLY, y’all arent meant for each other.
and sometimes after dating the SAME type of man over and over.. u figure out that hey.. maybe i should stay away from this type of guy… and then the one time u stray from ur “type”… he ends up being it. how fucking ironic.
case in point, my hubby… complete opposite of any man i’ve ever dated before him and look at us. yesterday was our anniversary and who woulda thunk that we’d make it? i thought he was just gonna be a spring fling.. but 5 springs later we was gettin married and 2 springs after that we playin with our 1 year old baby boy. aint that some shit?!
i guess its like… once i stopped expecting shit, i could expect to be happily surprised. make sense? neh. its friday.. i’m delerious.
“love is not about finding a perfect person. but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly” — anonymous.