this one’s for LC.

[attempt #1 at blogging somewhat normally..  semi-fail ]

the one thing i dont miss about being single is the game.   u know, the game?   the game where u have to shave on the daily and keep ur makeup in check and keep ur wardrobe game tight and not call everyday so u dont look like a bugaboo, and let the little things slide cuz he aint ur man, and act like u aint jealous when u really are cuz u wanna be more but u aint sure if he does?  yeah… THAT game.

when i was dating i always found myself attracted to the same kinda guy. pretty but rough around the edges, kinda broken, let me fix everything about you, crazy ex girlfriend type.   when i say that, as women, we wanna be different and we wanna be the one that the bad boy changes for, i say that from a lifetime of past experiences.   i say it as the girl who’s been lied to, cheated on, and left for the ex numerous times.  i say it as the girl whos tried over and over only to be disappointed again and realize that guys dont change for anyone but themselves.  i say it as the girl who is still learning about life and love, even after seven years with the same man.   the game…  sucks.

dontcha wish sometimes that u could just skip all the bullshit and go straight to blissful and happily ever after?   i did too.  and it bit me in the ass.    you need to go thru the bullshit..  u need to find out what it is you want out of life, out of each other…  the bullshit is what keeps u from heartbreak in the end.  the bullshit acts like glasses and pushes past the “god he’s so fine” and the “good sex” and the “but he pays for everything” and helps u see that CLEARLY, y’all arent meant for each other. 

and sometimes after dating the SAME type of man over and over.. u figure out that hey.. maybe i should stay away from this type of guy…   and then the one time u stray from ur “type”… he ends up being it.   how fucking ironic.   

case in point, my hubby…  complete opposite of any man i’ve ever dated before him and look at us.   yesterday was our anniversary and who woulda thunk that we’d make it?   i thought he was just gonna be a spring fling.. but 5 springs later we was gettin married and 2 springs after that we playin with our 1 year old baby boy.       aint that some shit?!   

i guess its like… once i stopped expecting shit, i could expect to be happily surprised.  make sense?  neh. its friday.. i’m delerious. 

“love is not about finding a perfect person. but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly” — anonymous.    


  1. Drea · May 29, 2009

    Heart felt! ❤

  2. christine · May 29, 2009

    Thank you for writing this blog! =) Having gone through the BS, I never really thought to think of it like glasses! Thanks again!!

  3. michael · May 30, 2009

    fosho, well written even for a friday post. congrats to you three (i’m counting the baby).

  4. michael · May 30, 2009

    fosho! well put even for a friday delirious post. congrats to you three! (i counted the baby since you all are a family now and not just a couple)

  5. ihopizelli · May 30, 2009

    we were JUST talkin about this! my situation exactly! … was i your muse? =) if so, yay- i’m honored! glad i could melt your TENDER heart mama! ::hugs::

  6. LC · May 31, 2009

    O man Raach you did so much justice. Like I was reading and why was I yelling “I KNOW” and “this chick is reading my mind”. At least I know that I’m not the only person whose felt that way. I am so happy you found your TMOD. Being only 23, I find myself not giving two shits about guys now cuz they are all the same. And basically I’m tired of the BS or as you say “the game”. But you have given me hope…that one day…just maybe I will find that dude who has made me feel like no other has. So once again for the umpteenth time thank you. Umm you are the bizzness.

  7. Ginz · May 31, 2009

    beautiful. love that quote at the end. i totally relate to you on switching up your “usual type” and finding “the one”… me and my guy have been together for 5 yrs now and plan to get married in a couple yrs. i recently started reading your blog and you speak truth. i love that. it’s raw and inspiring. keep it up girl!!

  8. susieee · June 1, 2009

    wow how did you find my page and that i wrote a blog about your page? haha anyways keep up the good work! love reading your blogs!! 🙂

  9. Christiana · June 6, 2009

    I LOVE how I can (and most people at that) can relate to the shit you write! =] You put it out there and say it how it is.

    I use to date that type of dude before too. Bad boy type that you want to change for you… then I took a change and started dating my boyfriend now whom is the COMPLETE opposite. LOL. He’s a clean cut nerdy gamer geek, but dude has my heart. LOL. =]

    GREAT POST! =]

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