club rats.

i’m not a club rat. not in the least. not even when i just turned 18 and could finally get into the club, or when i just turned 21 and could finally get one of those cool wrist bands and purchase alcohol from the bar.  i’m more of the lounge/bar/live band/dinner & drinks kinda girl. my outfit of choice when going out is jeans and a beater so if i have to put on anything that wont let me pop, lock, and drop it… i’d rather not go.

but this friday, i’m making an exception. i’m hitting up WET in San Jose for some friends and its like a vegas club, but in california.  there’s even shark tanks and all that jazz.   i have to put on a dress and heels and wear makeup and maybe fix my hair.  (i say maybe, cuz i dont even own a brush so fixing my hair entails a fancy pony tail clip or something).

and even tho i’m looking forward to being fubar in a dress, and skankin all night cuz Sean Paul is performing,  i am really looking forward to watching people make fools of themselves.  lemme explain.

me and abi are excited about Sean Paul cuz that means that they’ll be playing reggae/dancehall and we can get our whine on.   so u’ll prolly find us in the corner of the dancefloor with a few other girls, in a fobby dance circle and smiling at each other as we each show off our moves.   the boys, however..  will be standing around, drink in hand, staring at the fobby dance circles scoping out which girls are hot, which ones are not, and which ones are available to offer a drink to.  

its totally unacceptable for a man at the club to be dancing by himself, or in a circle with his guy friends.   INSTANT FAIL.  that shit is just G-A-Y.  the smart ones will politely ask a girl inside the fobby dance circle to dance so he doesnt look like the ruh-tard giggin by himself.   the stupid ones just pick a girl and decide to grind up on her from behind thinkin that she’ll rub the booty on his groin, when instead she’s really makin the “is he cute?” facial expressions to the other girls in the fobby dance circle.    more often than not tho, the stupid ones are also the ugly fat ones, and she’s mouthing “HELP ME.” to anyone who will listen.

and why do guys think that any woman who will accept a drink from him  is interested?  no woman in their right mind will decline a free drink!  even if it means running away faster than sonic the hedgehog as soon as her fingers grasp the glass.   and good GOD please tell the men to get it outta their  head that money makes  them handsome.   no.  it just makes them an ugly guy with money that will throw a drink at anybody with a vagina.   translation, SUCKERS.  rich suckers, but suckers nontheless.  

and then there’s the hot messes who are suka-ing in the ice buckets. or the fat girls who dont think their fat and wear ur baby sister’s clothes cuz they think its sexy.    or the girl who took her shoes off cuz they too small and her feet hurt and now she’s barefoot on the nasty ass dance floor.  or the hot guy who seems to be dancing to a completely different song than you cuz he’s totally throwing you off but he HELLA FEELIN HIMSELF.   or that asian girl who thought that wearing running shoes and a mini backpack to the club is acceptable.   or the single old white guy who’s lookin at you like he wants to buy you as his wife. 

lmao.  let me just stop right there.   *sigh*  its gonna be a fun night.  =)  u ready, hayati?


  1. mouf.piece · June 23, 2009

    lmao or the girls who used up all the sequins in the entire bay area!

    p.s. i don’t accept drinks from random dudes CUZ of this reason. i rather buy my own than “OWE” someone a dance.

    p.p.s. my mini backpack matches my shoes though? no? u sure?

    p.p.s.s. that’s my wife blug LMAO

  2. mouf.piece · June 23, 2009

    p.s. i’m not a club rat! just a hood-rat hood-rat hoochie mama! lmao. ok that was lame. but tell me y i started laughing anyway.

  3. madkap · June 24, 2009

    that was fucking hilarious. i always ask and grinding up on a girl is not dancing.

  4. LC · June 24, 2009

    Or the girls who wear the fanny packs (yes I said fanny packs) to club and thinking its OK just because its Louis Vuitton. Hello ever heard of a clutch! Ish is NOT acceptable! Like are you the fanny pack crew? Please someone tell me is this cute or is it just me????SMH.
    Haha. You always come thru with the TRUTH! Forrealz tho. I am soooo jealous you are going to see Sean Paul! Like wtf. I wanna get my whine on too! Sean Paul is bout to bring down the house. Ask him when his next single is comin out. lol.

  5. Czouch · June 24, 2009

    And what, exactly, is so bad about a girl taking her shoes off to dance?

    Okay, get this: People are not supposed to wear shoes!

    Shoes are stupid! They serve no real purpose whatsoever except to make leather and shoe executives rich. People do not need to wear shoes – at the club, at the store…anywhere. Millions of years of evolution created our feet to work without any kind of assistance. And in modern American society, everything is so sanitary that there is no real excuse to wear shoes at all. The door handle of your average McDonald’s is probably nastier than your “nasty ass dance floor,” especially when you consider that the most likely thing to be spilled on a club dance floor is alcohol, which is totally antiseptic.

    If a girl finds it comfortable to dance barefoot (which she should because IT IS), then let her. What difference does it make to you? She’s not forcing you to do it. Leave her alone.

    Just because you’re a slave to marketing and have been convinced that going barefoot is somehow wrong or gross or otherwise unacceptable, that’s your problem. But don’t go around criticizing people for it.

  6. Jas · June 24, 2009

    OK?!? That person is really not feelin’ shoes! LMAO!

  7. BBW LOVA · June 24, 2009


  8. krisyee · June 25, 2009

    umm playing reggae/dancehall and you didn’t invite the bumblebee?! lol dude…i’ve been to wet TWICE…and i’ve gotten FUCKED UP every time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s