Beneath the make-up & behind the smile
I’m just a girl who wishes for the world..
– Marilyn Monroe

“fuck my life.  and the one before it. and my afterlife” – hayati

this blog is not meant to inspire, has no comedic value, isnt lovey dovey, wont make u love life more, or anything of the sort.  if ur looking for any of that, do not pass go.  do not collect $200.  read a previous post.   YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

with that outta the way.  can i just reiterate…  FUCK MY LIFE.

livin my life like its golden?  u know whats wrong with gold?  it melts.

shit happens.  i become irrational, emotional, aggravated, annoyed and tell people to save their money so they can bail me outta jail as soon as i kill a muthafucka.   i have bad days, weeks, months.  i have moments where i cannot bare to get out of bed and face another human being.   but i do it anyways.  and not because its the right thing to do, but because if i dont i wont ever be able to go back to being “normal” — whatever that is.

so i make the best of what i got, livin my life like its golden even if its really just gold plated.   laughing it off, drinking it down, shrugging it away cuz thats really all i can do to keep myself in one piece.

cuz i feel like im about to crack.