no money, worse problems.

i dont need to remind anybody that we’re in a recession.   i dont need to remind anybody that credit cards are the devil and unemployment is thru the roof.  shit, i dont make great money, but i make enough to get by…  altho i never thought i’d see the day i’d cancel a plane ticket to New York cuz i’m *yikes* broke.  (or as i see it, an unecessary expense.. i just changed my destination to LA instead. lol.)

pinching pennies, using coupons, cutting back on spending, shopping on the sale rack (or shit, not shopping at all)..   we can all relate, cuz point blank — we all broke (or scared we’re gonna be soon enough).   am i right or am i right?

so i sat down at my desk this morning and said my usual “good mornings” to everyone on my buddy list. .. my girlfriend tells me about her date, which wasnt really a date, but she thought it was gonna be a date, but maybe it wasnt actually a date, but she likes him and he likes her, so maybe it coulda  been a date, but they split the check kinda date?   

so we start discecting it (like all women do) and i got to thinking.  how do u go about dating, when ur in a recession?    when u have no money, ur forced to get more creative.. with your outfits [recycling old clothing], with your food [making lefovers and cheap classics new again], gifts [make something vs buying something]…  and to me, its totally ok to split the check on a date or let the girl pay every once in a while.    unless she’s a gold digging, insignificant zero, who refuses to contribute to the strugging economy, it should be ok with any other girl too. 

BUT…..there needs to be some ground rules.  some kind of agreement beforehand, so she’s not offended or confused when its time to pull out her wallet.  

Recession Dating – 101

– don’t ask to take her out.   i mean this in every literal sense of the word, do NOT say “let me take you out.”   not only does this imply that you will be taking care of all expenses of the night, you also need to pick her up, open doors, and bring her home at a decent hour.   instead, ask to “hang out.”  keep it light, keep it casual, and she wont hesitate to put 5 on it. 

– be cost-conscoious, not cheap.   when you say “dinner and a movie, ”  it doesnt need to be at Gary Danko and then a 3-D showing  on the IMAX.   then again, it also doesnt mean burger king take out and a blockbuster VHS.  but  it COULD mean a homemade picnic during a free movie showing at Dolores Park.   and tuna sandwichesm,  a jug of instant coffee while snuggling to keep warm on a cool SF night all while watching sixteen candles sounds WAAAAAAAAYYY better than a whopper junior and onion rings on ur couch watching terminator.   and it was probably cheaper too.   aaaand u’d probably be having sex after (which is the goal of any date isnt it?  dont lie.. forreal, dont lie) 

– just cuz she pays, dont mean you dont have balls.   look in ur pants, they’re still there.   i promise.   engrained in our minds is the silly notion that the man has to pay for everything.   hence men frontin bout how ballin they are, and gold diggin women expecting the gadamn world when they dont deserve it.    u aint gotta lie to kick it.  if u can’t afford it, u can’t afford it.   simple as that.   and if we feelin u as much as u feelin us, then let us show some appreciation.    let us take u to a raider game, or to ur favorite restaurant.  women need to stop being so unappreciative anyways.  lol.  its all good in the hood.  

– less is more.  although we like the extravagance once in a while, we aint lyin when we say its the simple things that matter.  dont buy 3 dozen roses when 1 single flower will suffice.  no need to take me out to a steakhouse when i’m craving a $6 carl’s junior burger.   dont sweat the small stuff and save the funds for important things, like, anniversaries and engagement rings.    cuz TRUST me,  we might not mind the difference between a $6 and a $16 burger, but we will mind the differece between a cubic zirconia and a real diamond.   

and remember!!  pek pek should not have a price tag, or an expiration date!