my girl Tee said it best when she said , “people break up for one of two reasons: 1. it’s not the right time. 2. s/he is not THE ONE.”

most of the people you’re in a relationship with are going to fall into the latter category.   i mean, only ONE PERSON is gonna end up being THE ONE, right?  so its easy.. its not workin out, he’s an asshole, she cheated, he’s broke, she’s a crackhead, he’s ugly, she’s just plain crazy, he likes his sister waaay too much — whatever the reason, put it all under #2’s  umbrella.   they just aint the one.   done. pau. next!

but what if everything’s going  just fine.   what if he’s everything you never knew you always wanted?  what if you can see her having your child and making a home?  you just CLICK.. and then you plan your life and then….  she moves.  or he gets transferred.  or her mom gets sick.  or she gets a promotion.  or he gets fired…  the timing is off and even though everything else is PERFECT, its just not the right time.   so you break up and go your seperate ways and move on with your lives..

after having a conversation with my cousin on his current situation, i ask him if she’s “the one”.  and the thing is,  he’s all of a sudden reminded of… not the one…  but, the one that got away

the one girl who was beautiful, smart, fun, care-free.. the one who he started to see himself with, the one who he let go with, the one who made him smile… the one who moved away, the one who kept in touch, the one who he thinks about all the freakin time… the one who makes him ask “what if?”

the thing is, when u stop seeing someone because the timing is off, there’s no love lost.  you dont start hating each other — there’s really no reason to.   you blame your failed relationshp on something cosmic and out of your control….  FATHER TIME.  when you remember, you remember the perfectness of it all…  and then you start to ask yourself all the what ifs.   what if – she never moved away, he never got trasnferred, she never got into law school, he never got promoted.  would you still be together?  would you have 58 beautiful babies or maybe you’d be buying your first condo or planning your wedding, or hell,  it dont even need to be all that serious – MAYBE YOU’D JUST BE HAPPY.  

or maybe she woulda cheated on you, or he woulda left you anyway but you dont know cuz it didnt happen that way.    but if  you’re anything like my smart, successful cousin and your “one that got away” is who you think about instead of your “current one”…. i say chase her.  i say chase you’re happiness and finish your story and just freakin stop asking yourself questions cuz if you dont, you’re NEVER gonna know…

the one that got away could be your happily ever after.