“this is not a love story.

this is a story about love.”   — 500 days of summer.  KK, this ones’ for you.

sometimes i feel like my life can’t be true.   things happen to me and to people around me that are straight out of a movie script (but make the best Hellz stories.)  girl falls in love with her guy’s best friend, guy is dating his baby mama’s cousin or girl finds her prince charming and her happily ever after.

the only thing that differentiates real life from movie life is that you can’t always tell who the protagonist is.  you don’t know who you’re supposed to be rooting for, and when you’re waist deep in your own shit, your savior can be the devil or your angel… it just depends on who got their first.  as an outsider, watching these stories unfold is kind of amazing.  even if no one else is watching, you choose sides, imagine the outcome, and cant wait to see what happens next.  case in point…

your story isn’t a love story.  it’s a story about love.  i know the ending i want tho, lemme explain.

that guy you fell head over heels in love with is standing 2 inches away from you.   he’s the same guy who broke your heart, but for some reason, thinking about it now is just a vague memory.  the butterflies in your stomach are making it hard to keep a straight face as “small talk” permeates the space between you.   his hands are on your shoulders, and i can hear your heart fluttering from across the table.

as soon as he leaves, you instantly wish he was still standing there — conversing with you, looking into his eyes, hearing his voice say your name..   he is the realest thing you’ve experienced in a long time.  surprisingly (or not surprisingly) its the same way you felt years ago and it’s written all over your face.   we talk about the way it was then…  dates over hot chocolate, movies with the family.  it was all so surreal and so REAL at the same time. “it was the perfect verse over a tight beat”.

with time, that melody got played out.  the timing was off, the commitment wasn’t whole and it took a long time to accept that you weren’t your prince’s princess.  but you finally did, and you got over it.   and although you never forgot, you pushed it back to a place that wouldn’t stop you from moving on…  so you did.. so you are…

but all of a sudden, with a simple kiss hello, its staring back at you along with his brown eyes.  you remember all of it and in that instant, you’re swept away back to that first night you danced with him.  he took your breath away — he takes your breath away.  your heart skips a beat — no, its making one.  you can’t hear his voice over the boom in your chest– its “the perfect verse over a tight beat“.

this is not a movie.  this is not a test.  and just because he couldn’t be your knight in shining armor then, doesn’t mean he can’t be your happily ever after now.   does it?   after all these years and after all the bullshit, you two are so different, and yet so.. exactly.. the .. SAME.

consequently, life isn’t so easy.   between you are people, places, things, time, life…about a thousand steps, and even more regrets.  to be back in that space where only the two of you existed is just wishful thinking.   but even if you don’t believe you can get there again, i do.  i still have faith… i always have.   i still believe you deserve your happy ending, and i believe its with him.

when u find it, its gonna be the best story i’ll ever write.

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12 comments

  1. jules. · February 3, 2010

    profound and well written. reading the last paragraph put me to tears, hella warmed my heart .

  2. kat · February 3, 2010

    Raaachem! i don’t know how you do it but you always seem to hit the spot EVERY single time with your notebook status entries.

  3. Raaachem · February 3, 2010

    jules and kat – thank you. =) love is love.

  4. CritiqueDirect Reviews · February 3, 2010

    I have seen some crappy posts but this one really impresses me. Good work!

  5. Queenie · February 3, 2010

    Aw shit, its time to play cupid. I’m all for KK’s HEA.
    Then after hers, we find mine. Lol

  6. Erica · February 3, 2010

    Just when I thought I’ve lost all hope…that last paragraph made me get it back again.
    Thank you.

  7. Raaachem · February 3, 2010

    Queenie – hello I’m ur hea! fool! lol.
    Erica – if your love is anything like this love…. chase it. ❤

  8. Eun Ji · February 4, 2010

    Simple and true. ^^

  9. gem · February 4, 2010

    Its like you just read my life story… 🙂

    • Raaachem · February 4, 2010

      gem, ur one of the lucky ones. =) loves!

  10. giuseppina v. · November 9, 2010

    raaachem, i am just learning english but your words is some of the beautiful most words I have read in italian or english.
    i love every of your articles, you are a special girl with whole a lot of something and it’s bellissima!

  11. Pingback: sweet november. « Raaachem.com | Boss Bizness

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