She Keeps on Passin Me By – Part 4.
I pull up to the parking lot and prep myself for today’s possibilities. I hope she’s here. Will I have the balls to say more than 5 words to her? I hop out the car and as I walk towards the gym I tell myself…
Be cool. Be normal.
She’s walks out of the front door just as I’m saying this outloud. She smiles. FUCK I hope she didn’t hear me, cuz thats neither cool nor normal. She’s grabbing something out of her car — a black 4Runner with snowboard racks. She snowboards? She’s the outdoors type? That’s hot, I like that. Maybe I can ask her about that today…. What can I say to her without sounding like a total ruh-tard?
“My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you.”
As I’m sitting there waiting, tryin to think of something cool and normal to say, she walks back in. She looks right at me and smiles; I could get used to this.
I get up to walk in and accidentally smash her with my ridiculously large gym bag. Mortified, I quickly turn around and grab her to apologize. I’m holding her hand…. and she’s holding mine back.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry.”
I wonder if she’s aware of our hand holding right now, because every nerve in my body is on FIRE. My feet want to dance, my head is screaming, “Go hand! Go hand!” We’re touching. On purpose. And looking at her is like looking in the mirror because we both have this crazy wide smile on our faces. I almost feel like I’m 15 again.
Be cool. Be normal.
Class is amazing, complete with butterflies from the occasional eye contact and smile. I have the most clever thing to say to her after class today. I can’t wait. As we’re all prepping to leave, I’m just waiting for the right moment to initiate a conversation. She’s not looking my way. She’s getting up and walking past… I wave. Nothing. And just like that, she’s gone again.
“Whenever she happens to walk by, why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try?”