Sipping on this cup of coffee and hating myself. I don’t even drink coffee anymore. Matter fact, I hate coffee. But here I sit, drinking it, wishing with all my might — I wanna go back.

Back to when this coffee was just a coffee instead of this thing trying to keep me awake because I didn’t get any sleep last night. Because I was up thinking about you. About me. About us. Just thinking.

Back to before u purged my soul from my heart. Before I decided to sell it to the devil for one more ounce of happiness with you. For you. By you.

Back when I would enjoy cuddling with you in our bed, instead of sleeping alone in mine.

Back to when walks around the block were just were just walks around the block. Cuz I walked to smell the flowers and enjoy the sunshine. Now I walk to tire myself out in hopes to sleep better tonight. Never to any avail.

Back to when Blockbuster nights were simple. When we wanted to stay in and enjoy each others’ company when now they just confirm how lonely I am. Because as a beautiful young woman, I have nothing else to do on a Friday night.

I wish this coffee could just take me back. Back when we would just talk. Over coffee. Over this stupid cup of coffee.