Hate Bitches, But I Love Mine.

…As Hayati would say.  And even though she’s all the way in the Philippines right now, a 16 hour time difference and a gazillion miles away, she finds an internet connection for long enough to keep me together. Instead of (or most likely before or after) basking in the most amazing sun you’ll ever see, she’s asking me about my day, commenting on my daily happenings and applauding my pride parade.   In a nutshell, she holds me down. 

“You’re somethin’ like a new best friend.”   The line I told Q soon after we met… the line that gave her a new nickname — NBF.   Fresh from her week long stint in LA,  we schedule a time to eat, yoga, and borrow clothes.   She knows what I’m thinking even before I say it, and is one of the few people I know (myself included) who never gets embarassed.    This bitch, she stay holdin’ me down.

My Catitay?   My very best friend?   Did you know that she looks like an unassuming woman, a mother of 2 and a full time student?  But by night, she’s fucking SUPERWOMAN?!?!?  Real talk, she has this intuition about me that’s uncanny.   She KNOWS whats going on in my life even before I tell her.  Her gut feelings are never steer her wrong — thats how strong our bond is.    Her love?  It holds me down like no other.

Sister.   I never in a million years thought I would have one.   I remember the day my brother was born, I asked my dad to take him back and trade him for a girl cuz I wanted a sister.  He laughed but I was dead serious.   The first time Michelle introduced me as her sister I thought, “yeah, I could get used to that.”   I never understood the importance of a sister until I finally got one.   Thick and thin, she has my back.   Through it all, she holds me down. 

My living diary.   She knows all my secrets and still loves me anyway.   She plays devil’s advocate when its appropriate and plays the devil when it’s not. She’s here when I need to eat, need to vacay, need to shop, need to shit.  She’s the one person in the world who never ever EVER judges me.  Never has, never will.   In short, she’s me.  To the extreme.   Her love, it holds me down. 

And right now, at a time in my life where I need unwavering support and unconditional love — these girls, they stay holdin’ me down.  When the wind is blowing me in every direction and I can’t figure out which way is up… these girls, they stay holdin’ me down.  And I promise, as soon as my feet find the ground again, I’ll do my best to be the same. Right now tho -for just a little while longer – I just need your help to hold me down.

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3 comments

  1. doowaditty · May 20, 2010

    oh u know what. FUCK YOU ok. lol. there is no gaying in baseball. or in the philippines. it’s kinda perfect though ‘cuz last night they sang this whitney song at the show and i totally though of my girls.

    as i lay me down
    heaven hear me now
    i’m lost without a cause
    after giving it my all
    winter storms have come
    and darkened up my sun
    after all that i’ve been to
    who can i turn to

    i look to you
    and after all my strength is gone
    in u i can be strong

    i look to you
    and when melodies are gone
    in you i hear a song, i look to you

  2. yoshi · May 20, 2010

    damn ABI lmaooooo. rach… i’m in ny. the first thing i do in the morning is see if you’re online. then i make an ugly face when you’re not on. but when you are on… i sometimes forget to im you… so… where was i going with this? oh, you make my day complete. bahahaa – ok. totally gay. what i mean is… i may be a bully but i’ll be damned if i don’t try to throw you an anchor to hold your ass down. you know i’m always here for you to lend a hand that only an “outsider” can give…

    uhm… ok bye

    • Raaachem · May 20, 2010

      “you complete me” ok, Jerry McGuire! “u had me at hello.” lol. Jess, I am so lucky to call u a friend. Blessed and grateful that even all the way from NY, you’re a part of my everyday. I’d continue the gay parade here, but you’re online so lemme just IM u. lol.

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