Safe is the New Black

I’m damn near 30 and I’m at the age where the people around me are either settling or settling down. We are at a point where we are too old to be bullshittin’ in both life and love.    That clock is ticking and we hear it in our dreams and feel it in our bones…. we need to stop wasting time.

So thats why they just got engaged and they just bought a house, and they just broke up because they finally figured out, “Whats the point?”  

My girlfriends and I like to think that, in a game of “Murder, Fuck, Marry” we’d all be chosen to be “Married”… cuz we’re too awesome to be poisoned and more than just a good fuck.  So then poses the question…. Why aren’t all of us married?

After a three hour brunch with endless mimosas, I’ve come up with a (maybe drunken) theory:  You are single because you aren’t safe.

What do I mean by that?  I mean that, on a scale of 1-10, you’re about a 15.   I mean that it is absolutely mind boggling how you got all that into your jeans.  I mean that you’re too pretty for your own good. I mean, you have a mouthpiece that can get you into a LOT of trouble.   What I mean, is that you are so MONEY, and you don’t even know it. 

But he does.  And he also knows that you are not his easy way out.   He knows you aren’t gonna take his shit and he knows that he could be replaced in a heartbeat.  So this guy?  This guy isn’t going to pick you.  He’s going to choose someone who he knows isn’t going to go out and get hit on by 32687 guys.  He’s going to choose someone who he knows isn’t gonna give him any lip.  He’s gonna make sure he’s the “Up” in “Marrying Up.”

Don’t believe me?   Why do you think that guy that you’ve been crushing on is with the girl who’s name you don’t even remember?   Thats why your hot ass trainer is with.. um… HER?  And that’s exactly why your homie just up and wifed the first homely lookin’ girl that came his way. 


And altho this is somewhat of a drunken observation, this shit makes sense (kinda.)  But before you start cursing your beauty or puttin’ away your swag, challenge yourself to find a man that refuses to play it safe.  Do they even exist?  I challenge you to find out. 

Yes, some people are settling.  Yes, some people are settling down.  But you? You who’s not safe?  You are refusing to settle for anything less than butterflies.  (SATC)


  1. NBF · September 20, 2010

    Stop blogging about me! Lol

  2. doowaditty · September 20, 2010

    would i come off as “full of myself,” if on a scale of 1-10 i rated this post a “15”?

    ugh, i hate u. lol.

  3. doowaditty · September 20, 2010

    o but, u know in about 8 minutes i’ll find a way to disagree from a personal pov fml

  4. hishuttermedia · September 21, 2010

    damn straight mama! NEVER SETTLING FOR LESS! 🙂 Love it.

  5. La Q · September 21, 2010

    I think you were eavesdropping on the pep talk I had with my friend last night…or shall I say she had with me. It makes sense but damn. Damn.

  6. flawlessmistake · September 21, 2010

    I confess…. I have been a lurker for over a year. Lol. But I had to comment on this post! You speak nothing but the truth! :0)

  7. Raaachem · September 21, 2010

    Q – but you give me such good material! lol.

    Abi – since when do I EVER think ur full of urself? doot do doo.

    La Q – If you were at Mercury Lounge in San Francisco, then yes, I heard your ENTIRE CONVERSATION. lol.

    flawless & hishutter – thank you!

  8. Yesi Jukebox · September 21, 2010

    I absolutely agree with you girl! Just the other night I was having a conversation with the guy who I want and currently don’t have and we came to the conclusion that he’s too scared to be with me. Why? Because he’s been hurt before by the chick he thought was smart and pretty and a great catch. Now that i’m that girl he doesn’t want to be hurt again. It really sucks =-/

  9. Deaj · September 22, 2010

    raaachem (can I call you ate or something. -_–), sometimes I hate reading your posts because they’re so cold hard true. keep writing… I admire you so much.

  10. Raaachem · September 22, 2010

    Yesi – *sigh*
    Deaj – Ate? sure, why not! Thank you, dollface

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