Shock and Awe.

I’ve been sharing my plans to leave my job with everyone who will listen, and every person has asked me the same thing.  “What are you gonna do?”   My answer is always the same, “I have no idea.”   This is almost always followed with “Well, why are you leaving?”   And my response to that is always, “Because I’m not happy.”   

The person I’m talking to usually crinkles their face,  either in disgust or bewilderment. I  haven’t really been able to pinpoint that yet, but I’m gonna try and break it down.

One is always confused.   How could somebody so seemingly smart make such a dumb move?   She’s quitting with no backup plan?   No job on the backburner?   Good fucking LUCK. 

The other is (perhaps) a bit jealous.  Wow, I wish I could leave my shitty job too.  She’s got some fucking BALLS for leaving.   Must. Be. Nice.

Can I just tell you something though?  Don’t pity me, don’t insult my intelligence, and please do NOT envy me.   Why?  Because I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing and I don’t need you to remind me.   I just might be the girl to regret the whole thing and say “You’re right, I should have never left.”   But you know what?  I might also be the girl to say that this was the best decision I’ve ever made.  Who knows? 

I am TERRIFIED. 

And you can either look down at me or up to me because none of it matters.  I may not have a plan, or a job come 2011, but I will have my piece of mind.  I will be an active participant in my own happiness. 

So now I ask you,  “What are you gonna do?”

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5 comments

  1. yoshi · November 8, 2010

    leave. leave soon. find 2 better jobs vs 1 shitty job (i say 2 bc awesome jobs sometimes don’t pay well in the beginning).

    i left sf. no job. no home. no friends. i took the first job that would allow me to play around with photoshop doing random bs for a work/life company on wall st. 3 months later i met the right people and got a job doing production for entertainment ads for heavy.com. then the fashion sales gig. then back to digital production at rokkan. now, i’m going to ogilvy – TAKE THE LEAP!

    • Raaachem · November 8, 2010

      I’m leaving. My last day is the end of the year. Starting 2011 with a clean slate and yeah…. if I fail, I’m moving to NY and moving in with you. HAHAHHAHAHAA.

  2. Michelle · November 8, 2010

    Ms Raaachem… Blogger/Writer extraordinaire!
    I don’t pity you OR envy you..I admire you! I went back to school and 31..scary as shit BUT so far it’s been BY FAR the best decision i’ve ever made. People will ALWAYS have sooomething to say! I look forward to buying your much anticipated book 😀

  3. Mel · November 8, 2010

    do whatever your heart desires hun. You only got one life and i’d rather try things out then live in regret. things happen for a reason. 🙂 glad you taking your happiness into your own hands.

  4. YugoChimo™ · November 13, 2010

    Hey, may i recommend this book called “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho….I TRULY think it would greatly help you in your search of discovering yourself…..happiness > money….follow your dreams! 🙂

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