And the day came
When the risk it took
To remain tight and closed in the bud
Was more painful
Than the risk it took bloom
This is the element of freedom. – A.Keys
Being born with a Sagittarius with a vagina, I feel the need to control a certain number of things. I almost always have a plan and a plan B. I am the epitome of anal-retentive…the only reason I wanted to be a wedding / party planner in the first place.
There are things in life you can’t control. Things like how long that load of laundry takes, and the traffic lights on the way to work. Things like how your boss is feeling this morning, and if that stinky Divorcee will take the same train as you.
I’ve had to make some really tough decisions recently. The kind of decisions that break your heart either way you go. The kind of decisions that leave you sobbing in your best friend’s empty apartment on a rainy day. The kind of decisions that need to be made.
I can’t control how few and far between these bits of depression hit me. Or how low my lows will get. I can’t see into the future but I can tell you that I know, I know… everything’s gonna be ok.
For now, I’m gonna try to let go, even though it hurts like hell. I can’t control everything, I can’t even begin to try. I need to let go and let GOD.