“And if someone asks me if she’s my girlfriend.  I’ll say no.  She is my musician, and I’m her favorite song.” — Rudy Francisco.

What’s the difference between girl friend and girlfriend?  According to a lot of men I know, nothing.   According to a lot of women I know, everything. 

Not to say that there’s anything wrong with either title, (or non title) but as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed more and more of my peers who just refuse to put a label on their relationships.  

“We’re just hanging out.”  “I’m just having fun.”  “He’s not even my boyfriend.” 
Shit, her Facebook even says “It’s complicated.”   

I don’t know exactly what happened to black and white, but it seems as if  relationships these days are all kinds of grey.  I heard someone tell me the other day that titles change everything.   And it’s true.  As soon as you put a title on someone or something, you expect them to act a certain way and live up to the expectation of that title.    She’s my girlfriend now, I can’t fuck up. 

Well, YEAH. 

Without expectations you don’t get disappointed.  I feel that, I understand the logic.  But ladies, if you really meant something to him, he wouldn’t fuck up ANYWAY, title or not.    As long as the feeling’s the same and you two have a mutual understanding then who says ridin the wave of being unofficial is a bad thing?  I mean, look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.  


Spoken like a girl who’s been in a lot of grey area huh?   No. Spoken like a girl who’s witnessed first hand how title’s change (and ruin) everything. 

I’m just sayin.  Long as you’re happy, don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.  Be easy, and be happy. 

It could all be so simple……  you know the rest.


  1. Yesi Jukebox · January 24, 2011

    You are so spot on with this post! As much as I like to think that titles don’t need to change things between people, they absolutely do. Titles are scary. They make things seem too real, and they give a relationship a definition. The problem is that a relationship can’t be easily defined with a title. It can only be defined by the people in the relationship, so once you start to feel like you “should” be doing something, he “should” be saying these things or she “shouldn’t” be acting like that, it really throws everything out of whack. Just be whatever it is that keeps you happy, title or non-title.

  2. doowaditty · January 24, 2011

    i don’t need a title to make me feel committed but i’d still prefer one EVENTUALLY lol. we already talked about this. cuz if it was for REAL, a title shouldn’t change anything anyway.

  3. Audrey · January 26, 2011

    you’re just always on point, thank you! 🙂

  4. Pingback: It’s Complicated « Rescue Is Possible
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