There she is again…doing house chores…and thinking about him…oh God.  Why hasn’t he responded to my text.  Is my phone working?  Is his phone working?  Did he forget his cell at work?  Did he fall asleep?  Did he leave it in the car?  Did it get stolen?  Did it fall out of his pocket?  Maybe I can’t receive text messages right now?  Oh God, what if he doesn’t like me anymore.  Maybe he’s on a date with someone else?  Should I call? Would that be too much?? Two texts AND a phone call?  No, I can’t call.  He’ll think I’m crazy. I’m making myself crazy.  I feel crazy.  I can’t breathe…wait yes I can, otherwise I’d be dead.

5 Steps for HER.

1.  Slap yourself right now.  RIGHT NOW.  Or call one of your girlfriends to do it for you.

2.  SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

3.  If he doesn’t like you, then his loss.  What can you do about it? NOTHING, except for MOVE-ON.  And do you remember that friend of a friend who totally tried to get at you that one night while you were out with the girls??  Yea, that one..Mmmm.

4. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?

5.  If you’re feeling that insecure, go get your Harry Potter waxed, buy sexy underwear, get your nails done, hair done, errythang did, call up your girls, and paint the town red, orange, black, magenta, and lime green.  Oh, and LEAVE YOUR CELL IN THE CAR.

*This may not work for everyone, but it will however put some fun in your life with your baddest girlfriends. 😉

**Oh I forgot to tell you – HIS cell died.  He’s at his boy’s house playing video games and drinking a beer.  He’ll call you when he gets home.  One of the homies told me. 🙂