Password Protected.

Almost every single thing I do nowadays seems to be password protected. In fact, I have so many passwords (must be 8 characters, case sensitive, with one number) that a lot of the time, I fucking forget them.  But, I digress.

She has my FB password.  He knows the code to unlock my iPhone and She knows my ATM PIN by heart.   And although that’s all very sensitive information (If they told you, I’d have to kill them) I’m not worried about it because I have people in my life who value my privacy as much as I do.

It’s not always like that though.

I once heard a guy tell his girlfriend that he “needed her email password because his wasn’t working.”   I also sat on the phone with a girl I knew, tryin’ to figure out her boyfriend’s Myspace password.  I’ve had my phone looked through and my text log analyzed while I was sleeping.  I went crazy at 19 and went through my ex’s car — every receipt, every notebook, everything.   Insecure people are constantly searching for something to validate their crazy, but that is an entirely separate blog that I will save for another time.

All of the above is not only an invasion of the other person’s privacy, it’s just plain fucked up.   Having the privilege into her pants, doesn’t equate having the right into all aspects of her life. But just because she doesn’t want to give you her email password, doesn’t mean she has anything to hide either.  It could just mean she’s not ready to share all of herself with you.  Or it could mean that looking at her email is simply none of your goddamn business.

Being in a relationship shouldn’t mean giving up your privacy.

And if the other person insists that it does?  Maybe they’re not ready to be in an adult relationship.   Because even though he’s in your heart, doesn’t mean he needs to be all up in your bank statement.  And when the day comes that he forgets to sign out of his Facebook account from your computer?  You’re not gonna sit there and look through  his inbox or his friends list or any crazy-girl shit like that.  You’re simply gonna sign him out.

Because when trust and respect are mutual, you’ll find yourselves exactly where you want to be — in.  No password needed.


  1. madkap · February 14, 2011

    I had a friend who had to deal with this issue. It was easier for him to just give her the password than it was arguing with her on principles of why he shouldn’t and wouldn’t.

    He’s no longer in that relationship and he is in an ‘adult’ relationship now and is extremely happy!

  2. Guess who · February 15, 2011

    If he forgets to sign off facebook, you can always leave a comment about how much he loves Jamaican ….

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