Jozen blogged yesterday about what happens when you stay with someone you don’t love.    His only conclusion was this:   When you stay with someone you don’t love, you are going to cheat on them. 

I beg to differ.  

Not to say that cheating won’t happen, because it likely might.   But, you don’t have to not love someone to cheat on them.  Jozen said that one himself.  I think cheating is a possibility whether you love someone or not.  My answer to the question he posed doesn’t even have anything to do with infidelity.  

What happens when you stay with somebody you don’t love?  Nothing.  And Everything. 

The easy solution would just be to just leave the person you’re with, right?   On paper, it’s easy.   Much like most things that are good for us, it’s easier said than done.  Maybe you feel like you owe the other person something — he stayed with you through your cancer scare,  she took you back after cheating on her, he’s the father of your child, she’s your wife.  So instead of doing what’s best for YOU, you do nothing.   You stay.  Unhappy.  Not in love.   Instead, you sign your own death certificate and all of a sudden your relationship is like….  putting a plastic bag over your head but leaving just enough air in to stay alive.    Your soul dies by asphyxiation.  

And to make yourself feel better and to take your mind off of how STUPID you’re being, you do everything you can do. Get a new hobby.  Make new friends.  Do things you’ve never done before, all so you don’t have to sit and think about how much you DON’T want to be in this relationship.  So you start to feel sorry for yourself for staying because you felt sorry for your partner.  THAT SHIT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.   

Like Tupac so eloquently put it, “Don’t cheat yourself.  Instead treat yourself.”    You’re not doing the other person any favors by staying with them.  You’re wasting their time, and yours.  And doesn’t everyone deserve to love and be loved? 

What happens when you stay with somebody you don’t love?   Jozen was half right.  You cheat…yourself.