Parched like a Mofo.

Re-blogging Hayati and I only have one thing to say: 

HAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA.

Quench Your Thirst

A girlfriend of mine told me how she went out with the guy she was seeing and some of his friends to Circolo the other weekend. She spoke of how much fun they had, how good the drinks were, and how the one white guy in the group c-walked his way into her heart. She then told me about the sorry excuse for a woman that offered her dude her number while she was in the bathroom. “Your girl ain’t gotta know,” she said. Except she did know. And later returned the broads side-eye with a flirtatious wink that really meant, “Yeah bitch, keep lookin ‘cuz he came with me and he’s going home with me.”

It reminded me of this one time I was out with my dude ordering drinks at the bar. I noticed a pretty girl and her friend to the right of us and immediately knew she was feeling my guy. How did I know? ‘Cuz the chick was staring at him hug and kiss and put his arms around me ALL FUCKING NIGHT.

Remember when I said I wasn’t insecure? I’m not. Couldn’t blame her for checking him out. She was simply confirming what I already knew; I got good taste. I just wish she didn’t take her sweet ass obvious time confirming it. Because staring at someone’s date that hard for that long is just borderline disrespectful to me. And I was one cranberry vodka away from giving her the head nod and saying, “He’s handsome isn’t he? … And he’s fucking my brains out in about an hour”.

Of course I didn’t say anything. I’m too grown and secure for that shit. Plus, I like my face lol. But it was the first time something like that had ever happened to me. And I couldn’t help but empathize with some of you fellas, including the one I was with that night. ‘Cuz everytime I go out I witness some bold ass guy think he’s Trey Songz and attempt to Mr. Steal ya Girl while you’re being a good man and putting your girls jacket in coat check. I know all is fair in love and war, but telling me, “That’s who you’re with? Naw you don’t want him to get you a drink. You want ME to get you a drink,” when my guy is right next to me are FIGHTING WORDS.

It’s a constant reminder of just how cold the game can be. It’s survival of the fittest. Love is a battlefield and men and women alike both fight dirty. I’ve come to learn that some men don’t give a fuck about no man code, and that you can’t have woman to woman intuition with bird ass bitches.

But to play devil’s advocate here, these lames don’t have to give a fuck about you. So you shouldn’t give a fuck about them. They don’t owe you shit. But the person you rolled to the spot with? The man who said they’re exclusively dating you? The chick who told you she’s not seeing anyone else? They owe you at least the respect to not entertain these people back.

As for you thirsty ass females tryna take a sip from MY tall glass of water? Go find your own bird bath. Now choke on that.

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One comment

  1. thepenisdoctor · April 5, 2011

    I just love feisty Asian women like you fighting for their man. You remind me of a trip to the Cambodian jungle where I fell in love with the wife of a medicine man. My advances were met with angry words that seemed to be filled with many consonants and very little vowels. Nonetheless the struggle was futile from the start. She became mine three moons later and I still receive a gift from her on my birthday.

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