Stand for something, or fall for anything.

“If you keep having to ask where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to start walking away.”  — Anon (via Abi)

Well. 

Shit.

How many times have we all been the girl to wonder what the fuck we’re doing?   If he’s feelin’ us the same way we feelin’ him.  If we’re the only person he’s seeing, or if he’s serious about being serious?   Countless.

Sometimes we put up these fear-induced walls and we push.  We push the limits to our love and our sanity.  We work.  We work for the love that we desperately want to be ours.  We lie.  To ourselves that what we’re doing and who we are is enough.   Hardened by anxiety, our front goes deep.  Blistered with insecurity, we drive ourselves in-fucking-sane questioning our worth. 

Really? 

In one of my previous relationships, I was with a man who thought I was more than a dime.  He called me money.  According to him, I was easily the most beautiful woman he’d dated, with smarts and a good heart to boot.  If you’d heard him talk about me, you’d think I was IT.   Shit, I sure did. And after all the bullshit and the infidelity and the lies,  I still believed it to the bitter end — which came when I finally realized it didn’t always have to be a competition

That’s a pill that’s still hard to swallow, even in pieces.  Even after all this time.

Because even without asking, I knew exactly where I stood with him.   Nowhere.   And today, without hesitation, I know exactly where I stand now.  

ON MY OWN TWO FEET.

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