I stood in front of City Hall the other night with one of my closest friends and tediously packed a bowl.  I flicked my lighter on, put the flame to the glass and took a deep breath.  Inhale again and again.  I realized I was doing this in a public place.  Not only outside but directly in front of my City’s city hall.  I understood that if I were to get caught, I’d get all caught up.   Yet, I kept flicking my lighter and inhaled deeper with every hit.  Soon after my head felt light, and my eyes got squinty.  I was feelin groovy.   And after too few laughs, jokes, and a quick feeling of euphoria, the high went away as quickly as it came. 

My question is this:  Why do we go through so much trouble and risk so much for a temporary high? 

I guess its the same reason we allow ourselves to fall in love again.   Because the high is worth it.   Even after our hearts have been broken and burned to the ground, and our dark ashes have been used to paint the rest of our world grey.  Even after we vow to never go through the bullshit of a relationship again.  For anyone.   Because even after all of that, the hope of being on cloud nine again barely seems real.

Until you meet someone who could actually take you there. 

And there you are, all caught up.  Inhaling deeper with every breath.  Doing it in public with wreckless abandon.   Putting everyone else on your phone list on the backburner, secretly hoping the next text you get will be the one you want to get. 

Because this one might be different? And instead of the last one you were hooked on, this one’s not motivated.  This one doesn’t make you grind your teeth, clean impulsively, have suicidal tendencies or sweat profusely.  This one doesn’t leave you feeling like death when you’re downing, or take ur appetite away.  This one doesn’t leave your skin or your heart scarred.  This one is just like the purple kush in your bowl — Organic.  Natural.  Real. Impressive.  Mind Blowing.  Different. 

And it’s something like a breath of fresh air.   Or the greatest bong rip of the century.

Love and other drugs…I’m still lookin’ for a fix.