Historically, my type has been of the asshole variety.  We all see how well that’s worked out.  I’m not sure what it is about an agressive ego that I’m attracted to but the same thing that pulls me in also happens to be the same thing that keeps me broken.  It’s not that we wanna fall for the asshole — some masochistic part of us wants to see how much we can tolerate, or prove to ourselves that we’re THAT girl.   It’s just that the asshole is the only one who can keep us on our toes… the asshole is the guy who always keeps us guessing.  Its way more exciting to love someone who doesn’t love you back the way he should.  (Totally rolling my eyes at myself.  Totally.)

The last time my girlfriend asked me if there were any men out there who were nice AND nice looking, I only had one person on the list.  Needless to say he didn’t turn out to be her good karma.  I posed the same question to her recently and she magically produced a Good Looking Good Guy from her pocket. (She’s a fuckin’ magician, I swear.)  Hi.  Hello. 

The asshole might finish first but there’s a line of birds with their pussies on a platter waitin’ on him.  He knows it, and it’s the only reason he wants to win.  But even if the nice guy finishes last, it just might be time for you to wait around till he does. 

Your good karma?  Maybe.  Either way I’m rootin’ for the underdog this time.  Let’s have a toast for the good guys, every ONE of them that I know. 

And my Hindu friend once told me the beauty of karma so I thought if I shared my soul, I might get one in return.  But this is for those guys that are looking for a beautiful soul, not a quick fix. For my guys lookin for their wives, not these quick tricks.

For my understand-that-our-bodies-aren’t-always-going-to-be-strong -enough-for-sex guys. So lookin to see if our-minds-still-connect guys. This is for my bringing-your-favorite-flowers, sit-up- and-talk-for-hours-just-to-hear-you-laugh guys. And see, I wanna remember the color of your eyes before I remember the taste of your inner thigh. I want the color of your eyes to be the reason why I open mine and my eyes are open. And they say when youre lookin for gold, simply start by putting yourself in a place where gold is. Im lookin for your soul, so Ill start back where your soul sits—your eyes.

And this is for those guys that understand that to make love, you must first have love.