I went to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes tonight and as I sat down with a tub of sour gummi worms, the preview for the upcoming Paranormal Activity movie was showing. It was the worst minute of my life.  For those of you who know me, you know I HATE scary movies.   I was the girl who slept with a nightlight because I was afraid of vampires, gremlins, and dolls that came to life.   I was the girl who had nightmares for 2 months straight after watching The Exorcism for the first time.  And clowns?!?!  After seeing the movie IT was absolutely out of the question.

This Paranormal Activity preview had me jumping in my seat and grabbing the arm of the person next to me.  He said, “Why are you so jumpy?  Are you afraid?”   Well, duh.   “Of what?  Those things aren’t real.  You’re afraid of things that aren’t real?”

Yeah.  I am.

I’m afraid of spiders, heights and big bodies of water.  My greatest fear is being in a plane crash into the water.   I know this, and I’m determined to taking swim classes to avoid the impending marathon backstroke to safety.

I am afraid of heartbreak, although it is physically impossible to break a heart.  I am afraid of the unknown which is just that.  I am afraid of being alone and of failure and of being broke and of growing old…. knowing things like time and money aren’t really REAL.  These are intangible things.   Ideals, if you will.    And I am afraid of them.  Not because they’re going to run me off the road, chase me in the dark with a chainsaw, or any of those things that usually happen in scary movies.  But because they…. because  I…  I can’t even answer this question.

When I break it down like that I sound kind of ridiculous.  I almost want to laugh at myself because I am a grown ass woman afraid of things I make up in my head.   Cuz these things are only as real as I make them.  I know this. So what’s the problem again?

Right.  There is none.  It’s all in my imagination.