This is not a love letter.

This is not  love letter. This is a letter about love.  Actually, it’s an email between a friend and I about our idea of love. It’s lengthy, but take a minute to read about it. It’s interesting to see what people have to say about love, because it means different things to different people. To share these ideas, creates an understanding of the ideal, that some of us may not have even thought about.  Enjoy the words.  Read them, take them in, and then tell me what your thoughts on love are.

HIM (a school teacher with a free spirit and a kind soul):
Did I ever share with you my thoughts on love?  I wrote a lot about love this summer. 

We have been created and evolved in a way in which love, the commitment to another person in which you nurture his or her well-being, is the foundation for what makes us human, and what makes humans the most successful species on this planet.  Lots of studies show that facial expressions, emotions, even habits are all contagious between people.  This means, that our connections determine our reality.  Like the religious idea of a god that determines our reality.  We create our reality.  I MEAN WE.  Not you by yourself or me by myself, but US together.  Speaking of religion, they do not agree on god or salvation, but they all have agreed on the importance of loving all humans.  I do not believe there is a god or at most an omnipotent an omnigood god.  How do I know?  Over 20,000 children die everyday from disease and lack of water.  My spirit has been felt so full this year when I started telling my students I love them and showing them.  

The problem of course is people do not really honor love. Parents tell their kids when they hit them, “This is for your own good because I love you.”  That is abuse.  Abuse cannot exist with love, it negates love.  Why?  Because love is the commitment to another person in which you nurture his or her well-being.  Friends lead their friends to do unhealthy or dangerous things but say that they love each other.  Domestic violence.  Priests and molestation.  And OF COURSE, the worst part is, my kids and lots of other humans grow up, thinking the wrong thing about love.  Bringing each other down or keeping each other stuck, rather than lifting us up, due to the false impression of love. 

I know what I am saying is cliche, but now I feel it.  I am full with love and I am trying to share it with those around me.  I have always tried to help those around me, because I thought it as the right thing to do.  But now I know that my spirit, and the spirit of all humans who have come before me and after, was built for love and it is my duty to care about the well-being of others. 

ME (a writer and a mother with a new found openness): 
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is beautiful.  If you’d allow me, my thoughts on what you just shared….

I read a quote that said “People were created to be loved  and things were created to be used.  The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.”  I’ve come to a realization as of late, that love, for all intents and purposes, is absolutely not what we grew up thinking it was.  Love is not a feeling, nor an emotion, but a verb.  Love is an ACTION.  An action in which people misinterpret and misunderstand on a daily basis. Partly because we are programmed to believe that we are a body, have a soul, and feel love.  When in reality, or at least in my reality, its that I am a soul, have a body, and give love.  But that clarity didn’t come to me until I was faced with my own mortality, a battle which has reared it’s ugly head, again. I’ve always been a firm believer in the power of the law of attraction – Be everything you want to find in a partner, and be the change you want to see around you.  As an educator, it’s comforting knowing that you personify love to the fullest.  I see that, and I haven’t even known you very long.
One of the reasons why I started my Reel Street Love project is because I truly believe Love is like music: a universal language. The question I asked Justin is one that has intrigued me the most.  Is love selfless or selfish?  I truly believe it isn’t either…. it is only by giving that you receive. Love-as an action- is always reciprocal, never unrequited.  The belief has manifested itself in my life, personified by the abundance of genuine people I am blessed to call friends.   That has also come, in part, by the act of loving MYSELF. As a woman who has been physically and emotionally abused and been diagnosed with cancer, it would be easy to become cynical, jaded, and angry.  Love takes courage, but doing so has opened me up in a way I never thought possible.  I think that is the most difficult idea for people to grasp: Loving the right way keeps you OPEN for more love…that love begets love. It is absolutely way too easy to create a closed environment, but exponentially more fulfilling to stay open.  What saddens me, is that people don’t even realize that they are doing so.
I almost wish you could see the expression on my face right now….  If this were a face to face conversation, my hands would be flailing! lol. Thank you again, for your willingness to share this with me.  I appreciate you, hella.  Love is love. Happy Sunday.

HER (a romantic convinced she’s a cynic and one of the most amazing women I know): 
Thank you so much for letting me read this.  It has definitely opened my eyes to see love in a whole different light…through what he said and what you have said.  I know what I must sound like when I talk about not believing in love and whatnot.  I hear myself and every time I say “I don’t believe ‘relationship’ love exists for me,” it’s as if I’m having an out of body experience.  It doesn’t feel like me.  Then again, I’m still in the process of self discovery.  Don’t get me wrong, I know that love exists.  And I agree with what you and he have said.  But I’m still trying to figure out what love is and what love means to me.  Obviously, I feel love…with family and friends.  But that relationship type love?  Negative.  I can’t say I have even been IN love only because outside factors distorted that for me.  Was I in love or was it a feeling of self love/validation through someone wanting to be with me?  I can’t completely say.  Do I think that I can feel it one day?  Sure.  But to keep my hopes high would be setting myself up for disappointment.  It would be nice to believe that one day I might fall in love.  However, until it happens, it’s something that will remain just an idea.  An idea with potential.

I love you mama.  And I appreciate you and your beautiful mind, body, and soul.  Keep sharing, keep inspiring, and keep creating.  You are extraordinary.


  1. Pingback: Love an Idea « Underneath my Skin, Soul, and Mind.
  2. RanuJanu · November 16, 2011

    I shared a portion to my readers, citing it. Got goosebumps after reading that someone like you has been physically and emotionally abused and diagnosed with cancer. Yet you are not cynical, jaded, nor angry. As cliche as this may sound you find beauty and the good in everything.

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