Ego is a motherfucker.
Any woman who tells you she doesn’t let her ego get in the way of her life is a lying sack of shit. It’s the little things that feed our ego, when the man you’re seeing texts you something sweet and unexpected at 1:35am on a Sunday. When he makes plans with you 3 days out of the week, and puts his arm around you when you’re not looking. It’s also the little things that fuel the crazy. When he doesn’t text you back for 3 hours, or doesn’t invite you over on a lonely night. Don’t be foolish enough to think that on the other 4 days of the week he’s not with another girl. Exclusivity can never be assumed.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,: unless there is talk of commitment, there is none. And that thing that’s getting in your way of having the talk is your ego. What if he rejects you? What if he doesn’t feel the same way you do? Or what if he tells you to your face what you already know: That he doesn’t want to be exclusive with you. Ouch.
How soon is too soon to have “the talk?” I’ve known girls who have waited as little as a week and as long as a year. The latter relationship ended with a broken heart and the man running back to his ex while the former relationship is still going strong. Clear cut communication seems to have been the key, but like Abi says here, some of us would rather burn our hair than talk about our feelings. But to state your intentions from the gate would save our egos and our hearts.
The thing is, not all of us know exactly what we want all the time. Some of us don’t know if the man we’re sleeping next to is the man we want to be waking up with. Some of us don’t care who calls us tonight as long as someone calls. And even then, when we find a condom wrapper in his bathroom garbage, we don’t know if its our heart or our ego that’s hurt. So then what?
I want to be with a man who knows exactly what he wants. It’s just that I gotta figure that shit out for myself first.