I perused the aisles of Whole Foods yesterday and within 5 minutes was having a full on conversation with the produce guy. 15 minutes later, another patron tried to talk to me because he “liked my eyes.” Before checking out, one of the other workers told me I was beautiful and while on my way to the car, someone had the balls to stop me to ask if I could take down his number. If you’re counting, that’s 4 attempts during one trip to Whole Foods, in sweats, no makeup and with a massive pimple on my chin at that.
Jeyel would call these #RaaachemProblems. Not that they’re problems to begin with, I mean, I’m flattered. It’s just that, attention from strangers isn’t really my thing. It’s great and it’s flattering, but the thing is I’m not really looking for attention. What I’m looking for, is respect. What I’m looking for, is a mutual understanding. Granted, those things don’t usually come upon first glance, nor do they come neatly packaged on aisle 14A at Whole Foods either.
Talk to anyone with a little common sense and they’d tell me to just “Play on, Playette.” Add to the roster, Collect then Select. I tried that. You know where it got me? Not where I wanted to be. In reality, my roster looks like this: I’m seeing a man who doesn’t want a relationship, I had feelings for a man who doesn’t want to date a mother, and I’m missing a man who is no kind of good for me. That right there? Those are #RaaachemProblems.
So I’m tired of entertaining for the sake of entertaining. I’m tired of the kind of attention that I don’t need. I’m tired of the guys who approach me who simply wish to add me to their roster. Although I am tired of being lonely, I refuse to settle for just attention. And like I was telling Abi on NYE, I’m kind of sick and tired of having 10 guys I don’t care about tell me I’m beautiful and bad and alla that, when the one person I wish was telling me all these things is nowhere to be found. #RaaachemProblems. Probably, but they’re real to me.