married.. with children

im not big on writing about matters of the heart.. only cuz i believe some things should be kept between u and ur significant other. if i want my business out on front street, i would put it there. and even tho i’m a blogger, i’m on twitter, fb, imeem, meebo, etc etc and most aspects of my life are pretty public.. i still value my anonymity.

but this week i’ve stumbled across some situations, not only within my own relationship but with my friend’s as well and i just had to speak about it. and i apologize in advance if this feels like its all over the place, cuz this is just one of those that wont be proofread.

love and marriage. go together like a horse and carriage..this i tell u brother, you can’t have one without the other? not necessarily. although i grew up thinking that love and marriage are interdependent on each other (if ur in love, u plan to get married. and u wouldnt get married without being in love, right?) most of my adult life has been spent realizing that this in fact, is not the case.

i’ve seen friends who have been together FOREVER… kids, a house, a thousand cars and a lifetime later they still arent married. they’re actually barely in love. and they’ve just realized that maybe they shouldnt be together. i’ve watched others get married for every reason other than love, and then seen the nasty divorce and child custody battle that follows.

love without marriage and marriage without love. i absulutely think the former is acceptable and in some cases more favorable, and that the latter should be a sin.. but in both scenarios my question is… where’s the fairytale? maybe its just the girly girl in me but i always invisioned this “love” thing to be “happily ever after” like snow white or cinderella.

but u know what? people change and forget to tell each other. people fall in and out of love and break up over petty shit. people just dont seem to be worth it. people work and grow and i thought the whole point of being with someone is to work towards a common dream and grow with each other right? so what happens when u find urselves on sepearate pages in different chapters of your story?? to make anything work takes a lot of compromise and lateral movement to meet in the middle. “but if you have to move backwards to meet him in the middle, then its not worth it. you can’t go backwards. ” – mama hayati.

and i absolutely believe that two people can fall in love again, even after falling out of love and falling into complacenency with one another. i also believe that sometimes, love just isnt enough. and other times love isnt really love. its the fear of being alone, or its being too comfortable with each other, or its just plain selfishness. dont cheat yourself out of something amazing and vow to be able to tell the difference.

i’ve been with my husband for 7 years. people always say marriage changes everything. it kind of does.. and it kind of doesnt. the only difference between being married and not, is that breaking up is not an option. but then again, it never was for me.

they say love makes the world go round, but its what keeps my world together. after all the blood, sweat, and tears… love is what’s left.. and for me, love is what makes it all worth it.


feeling lucky..

i found this picture while looking through my old computer at my parents house…   baker beach on a cold ass day, walking hand in hand with my then fiance…    i am so blessed to have found someone who knows all my flaws and yet loves me anyways.   thats all.  

7 years strong

“I am nothing special; just a common woman with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.” — the notebook.

love is for suckers. and i got a sucker stamp on my forehead.

one more to go

the “i’m spoken for” ring
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the “its a promise” ring
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the “i’m really getting married” ring
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next up…the “legally binding contract” ring…

I CAN’T WAIT! 339 days and counting…..

“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can Love like crazy and who’ll Love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk. If you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in Love – well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.” -MJB