Until I Get Married dot com.

Because SERIOUSLY, Jozen is a mutherfucking genius.  If  we were in the NYC area, Abi should find his ass and wife him.  or not.  Cuz then his blog wouldn’t be called “Until I Get Married”   And I know I’ve put u on before, but I can’t stress enough how legit this guy is.  If you’re too lazy to click, read on.  I’ve copy and pasted for you. 

I Want To Run Into You Every Single Day

Before I go into today’s post, just know, I’m fine, which is usually the first thing people say when they aren’t fine, but trust me. It’s just the rain out here in NYC has me in a different zone. Got me feeling a little melancholy, and since I usually stay indoors by myself when there’s a monsoon outside, my mind is slightly more pensive.

But really, I’m fine, I’m cool, and I’m just trying some new forms of writing. Enjoy the words.

If my hot water worked today, I wouldn’t miss you right now because when we used to have the same problem, we would go down the street to the gym, not to work out, but to use their hot water. And I’m thinking about that as I take my bird bath.

Maybe I wouldn’t miss you so much if I didn’t shower at all, if I stayed in the apartment all day and did absolutely nothing. Because every time I step outside of it to do some sort of activity, whether or not I run into you is the very first thing on my mind. Then I get to my destination, without ever having seen you, and it’s right back to missing you.

Should the day come when I do run into you and I get to see your pretty face, I think the first thing I’m going to do is tell you that I miss you everyday.


That’s it.

I miss you everyday, and I hope you believe me. I hope if we see each other on a subway, you don’t mind if I decide to ride it to wherever you’re going, even if it’s not where I’m going. Because, see, the last time I saw you waiting for a subway going in the same direction I was going, I was so caught up in seeing you, I didn’t even think to do that. I rode it to my stop, which was before your stop, and I got off like I was supposed to.

That was last year, and I have missed you ever since.

The more I search for a reason not to think about you, the more I find a reason to think about you. Do you know what that’s like? To think about not thinking about someone? It’s like a dog chasing their own tail.

Do me a favor and get the hell out of my  head and heart. Go somewhere else. Be someone elses albatross, please. It’s been a long time, and you’re still here. I still miss you, and frankly, it’s getting in the way of some rather important things like other women who are good to me but I can never manage to keep.

I don’t compare them to you, but I compare myself with them to myself with you, and it never quite matches up, so I have to move on. Because when I was with you, I was the man I wanted to be, and with these other women, I’m the man I feel like I was forced to be largely because you left me. Ot was it that I let you leave?

It doesn’t even matter at this point. You just need to get up out of here even though you’re not really here. Come pick up your things I keep on thinking I see but are never there in real life. Quit calling my phone and hanging up before I pick up only to realize it was never you who called in the first place.

Damn it, if you’re going to be here, then really, really be here. Quit being a figment of my imagination. I know you’re real. Just show up and say something like you heard a rumor that I missed you so I can tell you that it wasn’t a rumor, what you heard. That it was true.

I want to run into you every single day I leave my apartment, and yet I never do. Makes me wonder how the hell we even made eye contact in the first place. Sometimes I want to go back to the days before I knew your name, where your from, and what you do, back when I knew nothing about you, so I couldn’t miss you. Sometimes I miss those days more than I miss you.

But those days are rare.

As a matter of fact, those days are never.

I have never not missed you.

The only thing I have done is gotten used to missing you for the rest of my life.


Ya Digg.

– the most Anti-Social.  all i wanna do is yoga, eat, and play with Adonis.

– currently in PURSUIT.   watch out for the summertime.  =)

– just received a couple new bikinis courtesy of my girl Adri… I think every bikini I own is  L-Space ?   Get on it.  now where to wear it to is the next question.  (currently planning NY, LA, SD, HI, PI) 

– did u guys know that coconut water has 3x the electrolytes as most sports drinks?   and not only is it all natural and taste like home, it also keeps me from feelin like DEATH before camel pose.  

(Vita Coco currently on sale at Whole Foods till the end of the month) 

– speaking of, don’t ever bet money against Queenie.   I’m $5 poorer now.  Why?  Cuz apparently, “It’s always been you, Rach.  It’s always been YOU.”   I love my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 

– “I told you she didn’t have a penis”  LMFAO.  best. line. ever.

ya digg.

– eating green tea kit kats while searching for an agent.   Hayati, one step at a time. 

– health hype.    yoga, gym, and vegetables.  who the fuck do i think i am?  p.s. wore this shirt to the studio last night n got a lot of laughs.    whaaattt?  

– been eating peanut butter and jelly on a hawaiian roll  EVERYDAY for the last week.   butt.. i’m currently craving a HOT DOG.

– Camilla & Marc

– If You Have to Cry, Go Outside.  If I ruled the world, I’d do it like she did.     mark my words.   WATCH OUT FOR US! 

– Miguel Jontel’s Quckie.    Be careful, u might get pregnant listening to it. 

– utterly amused by my son’s necessity to take silly pictures of himself.   bet $10 he knows how to work a macbook better than you do.

– lastly…  Wale is givin me a run for my fuckin money!

We adore those who ignore us and ignore who adores us. I constantly ask myself why. The pursuit of something we can maybe have, takes precedence over that which is easily obtained. Subconsciously, most of us enjoy the challenge of the chase more than actually being chased. Many of us (who aren’t afraid to wear the proverbial I’ve-been-rejected badge of honor) can attest to the fact that pursuit often leads to constant checking of the cell phone you left by a window in order to get perfect service in case they call. Or forcing yourself to go out with your friends just to stop thinking about them — which usually doesn’t work because you’re still checking your damn phone!) Nine times out of 10, that person just isn’t feeling the same way.

one for one.

i first heard about Toms shoes from Soulmate, on one of our random conversations.   Then, I started seeing them everywhere….  when they finally showed up at my favorite store of all time — NORDSTROM, i knew it was time. 

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Toms, their mission is simple:  

TOMS Shoes was founded on a simple premise: With every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need. One for One. Using the purchasing power of individuals to benefit the greater good is what we’re all about. – tomsshoes.com

Africa, Uganda, Haiti, and USA are only some of the countries they donate to.  Here’s why you should buy TOMS  1)  they’re fucking comfortable.  2)  they even come in hobbit sizes [Queenie!].  3) they make a donation with no extra cost to u.  4)  you can choose which country your donation goes to, and  5) i said so.

Today, I bought my first pair of Toms Shoes and chose to have the donated pair go to my home country — the good ol’ US of A.  I am now dancing around the office in them, hoping that the kid who got my donated shoes is dancing too.  One for One.   That shit is amazing.

ya digg.

my girls over at LadyLike have done a FANTABULOUS job covering all things lady like.   if you dont know anything, about anything, let ’em educate you!   just recently they teamed up with my folks over at Adapt for their first collaboration.  all i know is that i want this hoody!   courtsjess! u know it was just my birthday right?

The female-oriented branch of Fatlace, LadyLike, is presenting its first collaborative effort with streetwear label Adapt Advancers. The “Heart of the City Hoodie” represents the three cultural hubs of the San Francisco Bay Area: San Francisco, Oakland, and San Jose. Ladylike designer Courtney Escanio emphasizes that interpretation of the hoodie’s design can be left to each individual.

— John Legend’s version of “Redemption Song”.   Bob will always do it best, but JL’s “i just woke up” raspy vocals give me goosebumps.

— and i’m sure all of you have already heard bout the Hellz x Vans Collab being released next week!   Cop ’em while they hot!

– bikram yoga.  catch me in the studio on Sunday!   i stay doin’ work, son.

that’s all i got for ya today folks.  happy Friday!

Levi’s 411

As I sit in my 501’s,  I’m tellin Hayati about this guy who made a cameo in my dream as my professor in college.  1) I got my degree years ago and 2) I’m way older than this dude so how in the hell could he be MY professor?    weird, but nonetheless true.

A few months back, one of my Twitter homies put me on to this kid MaestroKnows.   So,  being curious, I started to follow him.    One day he put up an obscene amount of tweets and I was on the rag so being extra annoyed I hopped on the laptop to unfollow “whoever this maestro guy is that thinks he knows everything”.

I click on his link before I click “unfollow” and 3 hours later, I’ve devoured his entire website, episodes, blogs and all.     Not only do I never get around to unfollowing his ass, but now his site has been added to my RSS Feed Google Reader.

Levi Maestro is a kid from LA, grindin’ the streets (literally), and puttin it all on film with a fisheye.   His determination, focus, and inspiration come thru loud and clear in everything he puts out… and he’s good looking to boot.    What more can u ask for?    He is definitely a breath of fresh LA air.   One thing is for damn sure….Maestro Knows. check him!

Maestro Knows – Episode 2 (Anthony Hamilton) from Maestro Knows on Vimeo.

ya digg

– Sade’s Soldier of Love.  super anxious for her new album to drop.

Boy’s Life.   my new favorite blog thanks to Rio.   Reminds me of the book I’ve been reading.. “Do They Serve Beer in Hell”.  highly entertaining if u ask me. 

So until I meet the girl of my dreams, basically just like my last girlfriend just better looking and not totally insane. Until she bumps into me at Whole Foods, she’s singing “Some girls are bigger than others” on her iPod and didn’t notice me reaching for the granny smith apples and walks right into my arm. Until this happens, which totally could on any given early in the week weeknight, when I accompany said best friend while he buys groceries, (I have not gotten to the grocery stage of adult hood yet, so I just roll with him and try and make eye contact, and he throws out the occasional “How do you tell which ones are ripe?” to fruit browsing ladies) Until that magic day, I will keep going to therapy and try to become a better person. One day I actually may be ready to have what they call a “true partnership with another human being.” SO, UNTIL THAT DAY, these are my adventures.

Boys Life


If I do end up sleeping with a girl that “squirts,” I will break my rules about not getting douchey and divulge all details in their entirety including iphone pics of wet spots on my bed.  Sorry. I mature slowly.

Garage Glamorous.  one of my really good friends has started slangin’ her feather earrings for the masses.   holla atcha girl.

Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn.    In anticipation for my upcoming trip to Sin City, i purchased Tera Patrick’s new book cuz she’s doing a book signing at this year’s AVN and i’ll be damned if i dont get a boob grab from her.   T-3 weeks and counting.

– my free time.  which, as of late, i dont have much of.   super overtime at work, christmas shopping, planning Adonis’ birthday, my birthday, my parent’s anniversary shindig and all my side projects (WTForks, Hellz, the book, and another super secret project i’m workin on with Jess and Courts) and i’m fuckin SPENT. all i want for christmas is for someone give me a second or two to breathe. 

with that said.. i should take a break.   if i can stand being away from this blog for more than a couple days, then i’ll catch u guys on the other side of my 27th birthday.   i’ll see you then, or i’ll see you another time!   HA.